Coming or going?
by rubberducky3399
Summary: it has been a year after the break up between Luke and Lorelai. luke left after the break up before lorelai could tell him she was pregnant. he has come back now. what will happen next?
1. Some pink with a side order of lonelines

Summary: Luke left after the break up between him and Lorelai. lorelai did not get a chance to tell him she was pregnant though. it has been a year since he left. what will happen on the anniversary of this heart breaking day?

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Please don't sue.

A/N:_ italics_ are used for past event, everything else is the present time.

**Chapter 1. Some pink with a side order of loneliness**

It had been a year to day now since he had left town; a year and two weeks since they had broken up. Lorelai didn't need reminding of these facts. These events had been forever implanted in her head. She hated remembering those few weeks. They had been hell for her. She recalled the last thing he said to her:

_"Fine. You want to know what I'm thinking right now? That I can't be in this relationship. It's too much." Those were the last lines she heard out of his mouth. He had then turned around and walked away from her. Away from them; away from their future. _

Just thinking about that moment in time made her want to cry as she stared out her window in her bedroom. It was snowing out.

_The next thing she knew she was eating apples. Apples. That was a food that she had only eaten in one other time in her life; when she was pregnant with Rory. She first noticed it when Sookie pointed it out. _

"_Lorelai, why don't you take it slow?" She had said to her. _

"_What?" Lorelai asked not knowing what Sookie was talking about._

"_This is you 4th, wait, no your 5th apple in the last 15 minutes! Since when do you eat healthy?" Sookie had asked her with a puzzled look upon her face. At that Lorelai stopped mid bite and told Sookie she would be right back. She had then sped out the door heading towards the jeep._

_She knew what this meant. She was sure. She started to drive in the direction of Hartford; the one place that no one would know who she was. The one place she could go to get a pregnancy test without someone asking questions. Lorelai also decided to call up the one person who would know what to do. She dialed the number and waited for the answer._

"_Hello?" that familiar voice asked._

"_Hey babe it's me." Lorelai answered shakily. _

"_Mom what's wrong?" Rory asked with a concerned tone._

"_Rory I…I think, I think I might be…um…" she stammered._

"_Mom? You think you might be what?" she said anxious to hear what her mother was trying to tell her. _

"_Rory, I think I might be pregnant." She said in one quick breath._

"_Wait, what?" Rory asked not thinking she heard her mother correctly._

"_I'm pregnant Rory!" she yelled into the phone as tears streamed down her face._

"_Are…are you sure?" Rory asked still trying to take the new information in. _

"_Not 100 percent, but all signed point to it. I mean, I am 2 days late and I am feeling a little moody, and I ate an apple today. Oh, wait, no. I ate FIVE apples today." Lorelai said as she dried her tears. _

"_apples?" Rory questioned._

"_Well, you know me. Anything that is healthy taste like dog poo and the last time I ate an apple was while I was pregnant for you." She added._

"_Oh. So, it is Luke's right?" Rory said know the answer to the question already._

"_Oh, no it isn't. See me and Taylor, we kind of had something going on while me and Luke were, OF course it is Luke's! What made you think it wasn't!" she asked with a tone of astonishment in her voice. _

"_Nothing! Just making sure. So…" Rory started._

"_So, what?" Lorelai asked._

"_Are you going to tell Luke?" Rory finished._

"_Well, I haven't really made sure I am pregnant yet. If it turns out I am, then I will talk to him, but for now, I don't want anyone but you and I to know. Ok?" she asked not wanting to get onto the subject of Luke. _

"_Ok. Well, I have to go now. I will talk to you later, so bye mom." Rory said._

"_Bye sweets." Lorelai said before hanging up the phone as she pulled into the parking lot of a pharmacy._

_-------------------------------------------_

_As Lorelai waited in the bathroom at work, she started humming to herself. She didn't realize what she was humming until she started to sing the words. At that point her eyes started to well up with tears and she tried to think of something else. The only problem was that no matter what other song she started to sing, it would always start to morph into that same song as before. She couldn't take it anymore. Those stupid lyrics, with that stupid tune! They reminded her of that night many months ago. That one night, where their eyes connected and Lorelai knew how she felt for Luke. _

_Now that I've worn out, I've worn out the world  
I'm on my knees in fascination  
Looking through the night  
And the moons never seen me before  
But I'm reflecting light_

_She had taken some time to splash some water on her face before looking down at the strip in front of her. She couldn't believe her eyes, but then again, she could. She checked the box again. It said pink if you are pregnant, blue if you are not. She looked from the box to the strip, the strip to the box, and back again. Pink. That was all there was; just pink. _

Lorelai looked over at the crib in the corner of her room. She saw her baby sleeping peacefully clothed in a yellow sleeper, looking so helpless and pure. She sighed knowing the only two people she remembered seeing looking like this was Rory and Luke. Luke. She thought now as she glanced back out her bedroom window. Then she looked quickly at the clock near her bed. It was 5:45. She knew it was early for her to be up, but her dreams had been terrible that night. Come to think of it, all of her dreams since Luke and her had broken up a year previously, had been terrible, but these were by far, worse.

She kept picturing her with Luke and their child in her living room. Luke holding the baby, and Lorelai looking on with a smile plastered on her face. Then Luke would hand the baby over to her and then run off without a word. She would then place the baby in the bassinet and fall to her knees. In her dream she would cry and all of a sudden crowds of people would start to walk in and out removing every piece of furniture or any item that held some sacred, happy memory, until she was left only with an empty house and her child. The last part of the dream would always be Rory coming in and taking the baby. Rory would come into the house, remove the baby from the bassinet, and leave her mother sobbing on the wooden floor.

She had had this same dream 3 times already that night. It always ended the same way. Rory, Someone she loved, coming in and taking the one last piece of hope and happiness she had left. She then remembered the last time someone she loved had really taken the last piece of hope she had left.

Review please! that is what i get my warm and fuzzies from. review for the sake of my warm and fuzzies!


	2. Hellville, the doctor, and Baby Butt Cr

Summary: not likely to change anytime soon.

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything and my financial situation has not change. If you sue me, you will still end up with just a bunch of lint balls.

A/N: Italic are for flashbacks/past events, while everything else is the present time.

**Chapter 2: Hellville, the doctor, and "Baby Butt Cream"**

_Pregnant. She thought to herself. Why now? Why not three weeks ago when they were still together? But wait, that would be just too easy. For Lorelai Gilmore, life is always trying to screw things up for her. Now she had to tell Luke. Tell Luke. Oh no! How was she going to do that? Just go up to him and say, 'Luke, I just wanted to tell you that I am pregnant. Ok, bye.' No. she had to formulate a plan. A plan to tell her ex-boyfriend that he was going to be a father to a child that shared half of its genes with a woman he apparently hated. The last thought hit her hard and made her eyes start to tear up again. _

"_Lorelai? Are you in there?" Lorelai heard Michel's voice outside the bathroom door._

"_Um…yeah Michel. Just…hold on a second. I'll be right out." She managed to get out before turning to the mirror to make sure none of her makeup was smeared. She then wiped away the tears that were on her face, stuffed the strip in the box, the box in her purse, and then exited the bathroom. _

"_What is it Michel?" She asked as she walked over to the front desk. _

"_Oh, well Sookie wanted me to tell you she wanted to see you." He replies as he was writing something down._

"_What did she need?" Lorelai asked just wanting to go home._

"_I don't know! I am not getting paid to pass messages back and forth. She asked if I could mention that she wanted to speak with you! That was it! Nothing else. Now if you don't mind, I have more important things to do than give you a speech about my job description!" he said in an angered tone._

"_Ok!" Lorelai said trying not to offend him any more. That would just take up more time. She tried to resolve the conflict within herself as she walked to the kitchen. Should she tell Sookie or not? Well, we will just see how it goes she thought to herself. _

"_Hey Sook, what's up?" she asked trying to sound as normal as possible. _

"_So, what was that all about? That thing earlier where you had to leave suddenly." She asked not stopping her preparation of the dish in front of her. _

"_Oh, well see," she started trying to quickly think of a believable lie to tell her best friend. "I remembered that Rory had called earlier and needed some notes from home to finish her paper." She quickly added._

"_Oh. Ok. As long as it wasn't something really big. Wait," she added as she looked up. "What do apples have to do with Rory's notes?" she asked not seeing a real evident connection between the two._

"_well, last night Rory called me up and I said something and she said that I had said it like 4 or 5 times and you saying that just triggered the memory of her which triggered the memory of her asking for me to bring her her notes." She said as she started to ramble._

"_Oh! Ok. Well, that's all I needed to talk to you about." Sookie said obviously satisfied with the answer she had received because she had returned to preparing the food she had previously been preparing. After a moment of hesitation, Lorelai also went back to her regular work. _

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_Within three days Lorelai had made a plan to tell Luke about the pregnancy. She had resolved that it was better that he found out from her rather than someone else later on. So she pulled on her coat, grabbed her purse and headed out the door. She was headed towards the diner but as she neared it she noticed that she was starting to get strange looks from people all around her. She brushed it off as another symptom of the town's obsession with her and Luke's relationship, or in this case, lack thereof. _

_As she approached the diner, she noticed that it was empty and it looked as if the diner had been stripped of all of the decoration (what little there was). It looked vacant and as if Luke had left. But no. Luke couldn't have left. He wouldn't. Would he? She thought to herself as she stopped 5 feet from the door._

"_He's gone sugar." Lorelai heard a raspy voice say behind her. _

"_What?" she asked unbelieving of this woman she had known for so many years. _

"_He's gone. He left yesterday. We thought you would have heard or he would have told ya." Babette added._

"_Wait, Luke's gone?" she asked still trying to understand what this meant._

"_Yeah. He didn't tell anyone why but Taylor thinks it is because of the agreement he made to leave when you two first got together, but Luke would never do anything just for the sake of Taylor's happiness." Babette said as Lorelai tried to figure out what she was going to do. _

"_Um…yeah, I guess you are right. Well Babette. Thanks for telling me. I actually have to get some stuff done at the inn. So I guess I will see you around?" she asked._

"_Yeah! Maybe me and Morey can stop by later and we can do something together. What do you think?" she asked._

"_Well, I will have to see. I did have something planned but I will see if I can get home early. I'll call you guys ok?" she said trying to cut the conversation off._

"_Yep, well by sugar. We'll see you later. Say hi to Rory for us!"_

"_I will Babette!" she shouted back as she walked away. _

_--------------------------------_

_Lorelai then called up Rory who was expecting to here how the talk went with Luke._

"_Hello?" Rory answered on the other line._

"_Hey it's me." Lorelai said as she tried to hold back tears and as she opened the front door to the house._

"_Oh. How was the chat with Luke?" Rory asked hesitantly. Lorelai couldn't take it any more._

"_He's gone Rory!" she sobbed into the phone as she collapsed on the couch in the living room._

"_What do you mean he's gone? Do you mean he left when you told him, because that doesn't seem like Luke."_

"_Rory, Luke left town yesterday. And I don't think he is coming back!" she cried some more._

"_Ok mom, I am going to hang up and come over right now. Do you understand?" she asked feeling that sometimes she was more of a parent._

"_Yes. I just don't know why…" Lorelai started to say._

"_Mom I am hopping into my car as we speak. I will be there in 20 minutes ok?" she said trying to get her mother to calm down, but she knew that she had to be with her mother to help her._

"_Ok. I will see you soon. Bye." she said and then hung up the phone._

This was the memory of the one that left her. Luke left her. And along with all of his belongings he took Lorelei's hope of having a family. A whole family, with a mother, a father, and the child. This was the hope that was lost the day he left. She remembered the emptiness she had felt at that moment after she had hung up the phone. There had been no sounds in the house with the exception of her sobbing. Before he had left, there was always a chance to go talk to Luke, go see him. But now she could do neither. Lorelai looked out at the snow falling slowly down from the sky. She wondered what would have happened if Luke had not left. But then she realized that it was all in the past and why dwell on the past when you have a whole future left to help build? Even with the absence of the futures main character.

_After the initial shock of Luke leaving had worn off, Lorelai had begun to except the future she was given. She didn't think about it as much and when she did she tried to push those thoughts to the back of her mind. All she wanted now was to help her baby live a life that was worth living. Even in the absence of a father. Lorelai had told Sookie about the pregnancy a week after Luke had left and 24 hours later the whole town knew. Lorelai had hated being bombarded with questions but she didn't let anyone know. _

_After 3 months of no contact with her parents, Lorelai had been talked into going to Friday night dinner with Rory to tell them about the pregnancy. Lorelai had begun to show just a bit as she was in her 4th month of pregnancy so she had worn a loose shirt with a nice black skirt._

_As Lorelai walked up to the door with Rory, she started to protest again._

"_Do I have to go? They are just going to insult me." She whined._

"_No they won't, now stop it!" Rory said. She had had enough of it. All her mother had done for the past week was complain and Rory was sick of it! Just then the door was opened by the maid who took their coats and led them to the living room._

"_Hello Rory! Lorelai! It is nice to see you here! I heard you had some news for us?" Richard asked as he got up to get the drinks._

"_Um… yah, but that can wait a bit. Dad can I just have a soda please?" Lorelai asked._

"_Sure." Richard answered not realizing how odd that would have been under normal circumstances._

"_Are you sick?" Emily asked. She had obviously not missed it though._

"_No I am fine mom." Lorelai answered taking the drink from her father as he held it out for her._

"_Well then why are you drinking soda? Even when you are driving you still drink something alcoholic. What is wrong with you?" she asked._

"_Nothing is wrong mom; I am just not in the mood for something alcoholic." She answered feeling for some reason offended. _

"_What is it? Lorelai what is wrong with you?" she asked for the umpteenth time._

"_Mom, nothing is wrong with me!" Lorelai repeated getting defensive._

"_Well then what is it?" Emily Gilmore had never been one to give up. She never let anything stand in the way of her getting the answers she wanted. Lorelai knew this and so she gave in._

"_You want to know what is wrong. Fine I will tell you. I am pregnant! There are you happy mom? There I told you! Now if you will excuse me, I have to use the bathroom!" Lorelai yelled at her mother._

_Emily and Richard were speechless. At that point they knew Luke was out of the picture and had been for a few months. So, who was the father of this child? They both asked themselves._

_When Lorelai came back the first question out of Emily's mouth was:_

"_Whose is it?"_

"_Well…it is…uh…" Lorelai stammered knowing her mother would hate the answer to the question she had asked. Lorelai sat down on the couch next to Rory and decided to just get the answer out into the open._

"_It's Luke's mom."_

"_Luke's?" Emily questioned. She had thought that he was out of the picture._

"_Yeah." Lorelai answered almost at a whisper volume. There was a long pause of silence. At that point Richard saw that it was his turn to say something._

"_How far along are you?" he asked. There was no emotion in his voice. Typical dad, Lorelai thought to herself._

"_About 4 and a half months." She said._

"_4 and a half months and you couldn't find the time to tell us? And how could you do this to us? With that filthy diner man no less! I thought he was out of the picture! " Emily started to yell. _

"_Mom stop yelling. You and I both know no matter how much yelling you do, it won't make your grandchild that is growing inside of me disappear, so just deal with it! And I am sorry if I ruined your perfect plan for me. Of course, that is what I am good at! Oh, and Luke is out of the picture. There are you happy now mom? Does knowing that Luke is out of the picture make everything all better for you? Did you had him that much?" she yelled as tears streamed down her face. Then she turned to face her father._

"_Well, I am leaving. Bye dad." She said as she grabbed her purse and walked towards the door. Rory knowing that she had come with her mother said "Mom, I'll be out in a minute." As Lorelai walked out of the house and slammed the front door behind her._

_Rory then turned towards her grandmother, "what did she ever do to make you hate your own grandchild? We all know you don't approve, but face it, what's done is done. There is now turning back now and you know it!" She yelled in her grandmother's direction. "Goodnight Grandpa." She said as kissed him on the cheek and followed her mother's lead and walked out to the car._

_Outside she found her mother in the car crying. She didn't know what to do. It had always been Luke who was good at this stuff, so she just sat next to her mother and let her cry into her shoulder._

Lorelai remembered that fiasco. Her mother still had not forgiven her for giving birth to the "filthy diner man's" child but she didn't take it out on the baby.

The next memory Lorelai went over in her head was the doctor's appointment where she found out what the sex was of her baby.

"_Hurry up Rory or we are going to be late!" Lorelai yelled throughout the house trying to locate her daughter. _

"_Here I am mom!" Rory yelled back as she bounced out of her room while trying to slip on her shoe. "Hello there!" she added as she rubbed her mother's abdomen. _

"_What is it about rubbing my stomach that people find so fascinating?" Lorelai asked._

"_What do you mean?" Rory asked as she secured her shoe on her foot. _

"_Well yesterday I was in Doose's and some random woman comes up to me and starts to rub my stomach! What is up with that?" she asked as they both walked out of the house and down the front steps to the jeep. "And then Taylor," Lorelai started._

"_NO!" Rory said with an amazed look on her face._

"_Yes! Taylor started to rub and talk to my stomach as he was scanning the items or whatever they do. I almost killed him right there!" she added. _

"_Who would have ever thought Taylor chatting with Luke's unborn child?" Rory laughed as they both climbed into the vehicle._

_Luke had not been mentioned lately but it wasn't a 'say and you die' topic anymore. Lorelai acted as if she didn't care about Luke not being there to raise his child and she pretended not to care that she would have to raise another child alone. No one could really see what she felt inside anyways. _

_Lorelai still had trouble sleeping at night. Even after 4 and a half months without Luke, she still felt lost without him. She hated her house because every little thing reminded her of him._

_Luke was all Lorelai could think of as Rory drove Lorelai to the doctor's appointment. She wondered if this baby would look like him or if it would resemble her mostly. Then she wondered whether it was a boy or a girl. As if she was reading her mother's mind, Rory asked, "so, are you going to find out the sex now or are you going to wait for it to be a surprise?"_

"_Oh, I am definitely finding out today!" Lorelai said with a fake smile painted on her face._

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_As the doctor walked into the office, he saw the two women sitting in front of him._

"_So, how are we feeling today?" he asked Lorelai._

"_Good actually. The morning sickness stopped finally and I can now eat food without feeling nauseous." She answered smiling at him as he wrote something upon his clipboard. _

"_Well, let's see how this baby is doing. Now the gel is going to me kind of cold." He warned her as laid back and lifted her shirt to reveal her protruding abdomen. _

"_As it always is." Lorelai commented about the gel._

"_So, would you like to know the sex of your baby?" the doctor asked as he watched the screen. _

"_Yes I would." Lorelai said with a hint of giddiness in her voice._

"_Well, it seems that you are having," he paused for a moment just to check the screen one more time._

"_Seems you are having a boy!" he said with a big smile on his face. Lorelai felt so happy inside. A boy! Her mind then skipped to the thought of dressing her little baby up in little flannels and a blue baseball cap like his father. She thought of how if he was there at that moment he would be so happy to get the son he always wanted. He would also protest against the wardrobe choice Lorelai had just pictured in her mind. But Luke wasn't there. It was only Lorelai._

"_Yay! Rory, a boy! You are going to have a little brother!" she said looking at Rory who was also smiling. _

Lorelai remembered that moment. She smiled to herself now. She had never actually gotten to dress her son in that flannel and that baseball cap. Even if she did, it would have reminded her too much of Luke, and she had spent the most of the past year trying to put him behind her. All of a sudden she heard a soft whimper coming from the crib.

Lorelai quickly tore herself away from the window to go pick up her son.

"Oh, hey. It's ok. Mommy's here, mommy's here." She said softly to the infant as she swayed from side to side to try to get him to calm down.

"Did you have a bad dream?" she asked while looking into her child's eyes. He definitely was a Luke. There was no doubt about it.

He started to calm down and quickly cuddled into Lorelai's chest. She held her baby there for a few more minutes, still rocking back and forth. She loved the feeling of being the only thing her son needed; the feeling that no matter what he would never leave because he had no reason to. She knew it was absurd to think something like that about your 4 month old son, but that was how she felt.

When she looked back down at the little infant in her arms she discovered he had fallen asleep. Lorelai then laid him back down in the crib and stole a glance at the clock.

6:17 it told her. She concluded that she should probably take her shower now before it was too late. She turned the baby monitor on and grabbed it as she headed into the bathroom to take a nice warm shower.

It was 15 minutes into the shower when she heard the baby crying. She jumped out of the shower quickly wrapping a towel around her and walked to the crib. She found her son squirming around screaming at the top of his lungs. His face had turned the color of a tomato. Lorelai knew he was hungry at that point. She picked him up and carried him down the stairs into the kitchen. She took one of the bottles out of the refrigerator and placed it in the microwave. She turned it on while trying to quiet her little baby.

"Wow you have some lungs there!" she said when her attempts to calm him failed.

Just then she heard a beep and saw that the microwave had stopped. She took the bottle out, placed the cover back on and then shook it. She tested the temperature with her wrist and after being satisfied she positioned the baby in her arms so she could feed him.

The moment the bottle entered his mouth he immediately started to suck at it. She could tell he was hungry. Within 15 minutes the bottle was empty and her little boy was staring up at her face taking in every feature. He then started to reach up and grab anything within reach. He first took hold of her nose. He pinched it as she made funny noises at him. His face immediately irrupted into a big grin.

"Are you happy to squish mommy's nose?" Lorelai asked in a baby voice. Lorelai then realized the time. It was 6:58 and she had to be to work by 8. She quickly rushed up the stairs holding her son. She placed him on the changing table. Lorelai removed her son's sleeper. She then pulled out a fresh diaper as she tore off the one that he already had on.

"Oh, no! Do you have a rash! Not again." She said to herself as she noticed the rash. She then pulled out some cream for his rash. She laughed at the thought of the conversation she had had with Rory a few days previously about how they should stop giving the cream funny names like 'Desatin' and just call it "baby butt cream". Lorelai laughed under her breath as she put the clean diaper on her son. He was chewing his fingers, or what Lorelai liked to call "gumming" his fingers. She then pulled out a pair of little jeans and a tiny, white t-shirt and dressed him in them.

She then placed him in his crib to chew his fingers while she got dressed. She pulled on a pair of jeans and a blue halter that matched her eyes. She walked over to the basket of her son's clothes and searched for 2 extra outfits to bring with them to the inn.

It was a daily routine she had started. Get up, shower, feed baby, and change and clothe baby, get dressed, and then pack the diaper bag. Normally it was that order. As she stuffed some diapers, wipes, and the '"baby butt cream" in the bag, she thought what Luke was doing at this moment. She hated this. They had never really gotten any closure. Or for her it felt as if they hadn't because she had never gotten the chance to tell him he had a son.

She then walked over to the crib where her son lay, "gumming" his toes. He looked up at her as she stood over the crib and he smiled. He was always smiling. He was really a happy baby. Most of the time you could just stick him in his crib and he would find some way to amuse himself.

"Hey! Ready to go see Sookie and mean old Michel?" she asked him. She picked him up along with the diaper bag which lay on her bed.

She walked downstairs and into the kitchen. She grabbed some empty bottles and nipples and packed them into the diaper bag. Carrying the baby and the bag, she walked into the foyer to grab both hers and the baby's coats. She put her sons coat on him and then her own on herself. She then grabbed her purse and headed out the door, not forgetting to lock it.

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Review! Review! Review! Give me the pretty reviews (meaning what your real opinions of this chapter are) that I want! I live and breathe off from them and you wouldn't want to be the cause of my death would you? Well, please give me some feedback. I promise that I will be updating as soon as possible.


	3. Names, Malls, and Secrets

Disclaimer: i own nothing. still.

A/N: _Italics _are flashbacks, everything else is the present time, yada yada! it is the same as all of the other chapters.

**Chapter 3: Names, Malls, and Secrets**

As she walked in the front door of the inn, she immediately was yelled at my Michel.

"Where have you been? You are 20 minutes late!" he started, "And why do you insist on bring you child to work with you every, single, day?" he asked pointing at the baby in her arms as he complained.

"Ok. One, I was at home getting ready for work, two I bring him here because he needs to be taken care of during the day, not just given a bowl of food," she said knowing he was complaining because he still hadn't allowed him to bring his dogs to work, "and three, I am your boss, and I will do whatever I want. Ok?" she said not needing her day to start off bad.

"Fine!" Michel responded feeling defeated once again.

Lorelai walked into the kitchen to get her coffee when Sookie just popped out of now where. Lorelai clutched he hand to her heart and exclaimed:

"Oh my god! Sookie, don't do that! You almost gave me a heart attack." But Sookie didn't hear her.

"Oh, whatever, just hand the baby over!" she said holding out her hands for the baby. Lorelai easily gave her son up to Sookie as she went over to the coffee pot. She lived on the coffee at the inn. She never had time to make any at home so all she drank was coffee from the inn.

"So, how was your morning?" Sookie asked.

"Oh, it was good. My hair didn't get fully rinsed but it was good. What about you?" Was Lorelai's response.

"Good. So what are you doing around noon today?" Sookie asked finally looking up from the baby.

"Oh, I was planning to stay at work and, well working. Why?" she asked taking a sip of her coffee.

"Oh, well I was thinking you and I go shopping! How does that sound? We can drop the baby off with Jackson and the kids, so that we can have some girl time!" Sookie answered enthusiastically.

"Well…I guess…if it isn't too much for Jackson." She answered hesitantly. Sookie seemed to be acting really strange but Lorelai just brushed it off as her just being herself.

"Yay! We'll go to the mall get new clothes! When was the last time you had time to go shopping for clothes?" Sookie asked as she handed the baby to Lorelai and then started hopping around the kitchen. She then ran into Manny, who accidentally hit her in the face with a pan.

"OH! Sookie! Are you alright?" Lorelai asked as she rushed over to her friend.

"I'm ok!" Sookie said holding her hand up to her nose. "I think I just need some ice. Now!" she yelled. All of the kitchen staff members immediately ran to the freezer to get some ice for Sookie's nose.

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"Ready to go?" Lorelai asked as she walked back out of Sookie's house. She had just dropped off the baby and was now headed with Sookie towards the mall.

"Yep!" Sookie answered excitedly as she buckled her seatbelt.

As Sookie and Lorelai neared the mall, Lorelai remember the last time she had been there.

_"Rory come on!" Lorelai said pulling her daughter through the aisles of baby items. It had been two weeks after finding out her precious little baby was going to be, no wait, was a boy. She had wanted to go shopping for the past month with Rory, but now she had a reason. Her reasoning was that now that she knew the baby was a boy, they could go shopping for baby clothes and maybe some for her also. _

_Over the past couple weeks she had also come up with a name for the child growing inside of her. She was really excited because she had not told a single soul what it was yet._

_"Hold on!" Rory said trying to keep up with her mother. Rory still wanted to know what her little brother's name was going to be but Lorelai had made it clear that the name would not be known until all of the shopping was done and they were sitting down eating lunch. That was the one reason she had agreed to this little outing._

_"No! We need to hurry up so you and I can shop for clothes for the mommy!" she said as she searched through the shelves. She piled in clothing item after clothing item._

_"Mom!" Rory shouted at her mother._

_"What?" Lorelai asked finally stopping and turning around to face her daughter._

_"How are you paying for all of this?" she said gesturing towards the huge mountain of things in the cart._

_"OH! You are going to love this! After mom's horrible display Dad gave me enough money to buy a whole country. I just haven't gotten to it till now. mostly because I wanted to wait until I knew what little BLANK here," Lorelai emphasized the word blank while rubbing her belly, "was." she finished. She then turned around again and continued her previous mission. _

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_"OOO! I want this!" Lorelai said as she looked at the maternity clothing. They had now moved on to the "more important things" but this was the first thing she had found she liked. _

_"Mom, that is way too small." Rory commented when she looked at the tag of the shirt her mother was holding._

_"Well let's ask if they have it in a bigger size" Lorelai said with a smile on her face._

_"Yes, mom, why don't _you_?" Rory said emphasizing the last word._

_"But Rory, that would involve extra movement, and my ankles hurt. Plus you owe me. I gave birth to you. You gave me the same pain I am in now. Now go ask the scary lady up at the desk and I will keep looking for things. And then, in ten minutes we can go eat. How does that sound?" she said knowing there was no way Rory would say no._

_"Ok, but I want to know the name the moment we get down there!" she demanded._

_"Done!" Lorelai agreed. _

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_"So, what is his name?" Rory asked anxiously as they walked over to the food court._

_"Well I don't have a middle name picked out yet, but for the first name I was thinking about Jacob." She said trying to read her daughter's expression. _

_"Well, are you going to give him a nickname like you did with me?" Rory asked thinking Jacob was not a name she pictured he mom choosing._

_"OH, way ahead of you! I have figured out that I will be calling him either Jake or Jakey! What do you think?" Lorelai asked hoping Rory liked the name choice. _

_"Jakey is such a cute name! ooooo! Hello Jakey!" Rory said rubbing her mother's belly._

_"Enough with the rubbing already!" Lorelai yelled as she removed Rory's hand away from her abdomen. She then took a few seconds to evaluate what she had just said before giggling out a "Dirty!" _

_"Mom!" Rory yelled appalled at her mother's comment._

"So, Sookie, where to next?" Lorelai asked as they left the fifth baby store they had visited so far.

"well, how about we go check out the mommy clothes?" Sookie suggested. Each was carrying bags of some sort; Sookie with 4 and Lorelai with two. Lorelai had been feeling a little out of it and Sookie noticed. She noticed that Lorelai Gilmore had only 2 bags of things for her son after at least 5 stores! This was not the Lorelai she knew. But of course she knew something this Lorelai didn't know.

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"So, you going home now?" Sookie asked Lorelai as they had stopped at Sookie's house. They had planned to have Lorelai drop Sookie off at her house while Lorelai grabbed Jake so she could head home. As they both got out of the jeep and stood halfway in between the vehicle and the house, Lorelai answered the question.

"Actually, I think I am going to go stop at the inn. Pick up some of the paperwork that I have to get done. I will then bring it home. Try to start it, get distracted by Jake, not actually get started until I put him to sleep until around 9:30, 10 ish. I will then proceed to stay up for an extra 2 hours doing nothing but that paperwork which I so utterly failed to get done earlier. I really have a fun night ahead of me don't I?" Lorelai summarized while rubbing her eyes.

"No! Don't do that! I mean, why don't you just take some time off from paperwork to spend with your son. You can do the paperwork tomorrow." Sookie suggested. Now Lorelai knew something was wrong. Sookie had been trying to convince her all afternoon not to go back to the inn after they got done shopping but to go straight home. Lorelai wanted to know why Sookie was so set on her staying away from the inn for the rest of the day.

"Sookie, what is going on?" she asked eying her friend suspiciously.

"Nothings wrong." She answered. A little too quickly to convince Lorelai that what she was saying was true.

"Sookie, I have known you how many years? I can't even remember, but in that time, I have always known when you were lying to me. Sookie, this here, you are lying to me. What happened at the inn that I need to know about?" she said seriously.

"Well…I heard that…that he was coming to town and then I saw his name on the list of people staying at the inn and I… didn't want you to have to deal with that right now." She answered nervously.

"Sookie who are you talking about?" she asked not knowing she really didn't know the answer. "Sookie, who?" she asked again.

"I promised I would keep you away from the inn for the rest of the day. That is the only reason Michel let you go without to much of a fuss." She added. Lorelai was so confused and she realized she wasn't going to get an answer from her best friend anytime soon. So she decided to hop in her jeep and go see for herself. "Wait Lorelai! Wait!" Sookie yelled as Lorelai ran out to the jeep.

"Lorelai, please just trust me! You do not want to know!" she tried convincing her but Lorelai had already turned the key in the ignition. She then quickly sped out of the driveway. She was on her way to the inn to find out who the hell would cause Sookie to act like this. Why won't she tell me? She asked herself.

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As soon as she parked the jeep in front of the inn she ran inside to figure out what was going on.

"Lorelai, what are you doing back? Sookie said you were leaving for the day." Michel asked.

"Well, Sookie obviously forgot to tell me why I was leaving for the day!" she muttered under her breath.

The next thing she did was look through the reservations made to see who Sookie could have been talking about. Michele didn't even try to stop her. He saw how she was acting and didn't want to risk his job for the orders he had gotten from Sookie earlier that day. Her orders were to keep Lorelai from finding out who was staying at the inn.

She ran down the list with her finger until it hit a name she remembered very clearly. "No." she said under her breath. Why would he come! He will just screw everything up! She had tried so hard do block him out of her life and now he was coming back? She was thinking to herself as some one walked through the front door. He walked through the doorway looking at her as if he was surprised to see her there. It was her inn! She thought. Why is he shocked?

"Lorelai?" he asked not knowing if it really could be true. Could she really be standing in front of him after so long?

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dun dun dun! cliffhanger! i think this is a good place to end the chapter. don't you? ok, now i love those pretty pretty reviews i have been getting! they make me happy and feel loved! if you see anything wrong in this chapter, or anywhere else in the story, please don't be affraid to point it out. review review review! santa clause is watching you!


	4. The Man, the Son, and the Uncertainty

Disclaimer: still don't own anything. still poor. don't sue.

**Chapter 4: The Man, the Son, and the Uncertainty**

"Luke?" she said his name. She felt the need to burst into tears. He had left. He had left and now he was back. She had just started to be able to live a normal life without him, or so she kept telling herself.

"I…uh…" he started not knowing where exactly TO start.

"Can we talk in my office?" she asked knowing this conversation needed some privacy. She never had told him he had a son, and she realized she had to tell him now; while she still had the chance.

"Um…ok. I guess." He answered. He could see the hurt in her eyes. It had been over a year now and he was sure he was over her until he looked into her eyes. They were the same sapphires he remembered from before. The only difference was that they seemed more tired, less upbeat, more…under pressure and stressed? Was that what he saw in her eyes?

"So, what are you doing here Luke?" she asked as they entered the office and Lorelai closed the door behind them. It didn't sound the way it was supposed to. It was meant to be a simple question wondering how he came to decide to come back. It came out as if it was her town and he was trespassing. But he didn't seem to notice.

"Uh, Liz was here in town for a bit and she needed me to help her with some stuff. There isn't enough room at her place, my _old_ apartment is not fit to be lived in, and this is the only other place to stay within a 30 mile radius." He said not sure if that was enough for her or if that was even what she wanted to hear.

Lorelai felt her stomach tighten when he referred to his apartment as old. In some way it made her think that maybe he meant that their relationship was old. It was in the past. He just passed so many memories of the together from that apartment for the inn. The new inn. The newish inn. Her inn. Her newish inn.

"Ok. Well, I…uh…I…Luke I have something to tell you." She stammered.

"What? What happened? Did something happen to Rory?" he asked. He still felt like a father to her. If he had missed anything, anything at all that had happened to Rory, he would kick himself.

"Um…actually no. it involves just…just you and…and me…and…um…and um…god how do I say this!" she said to herself trying so hard not to burst into tears.

"Luke, you have a son." She just blurted out. She then buried her face in her hands as her eyes started to well up with tears. She was sure his first reaction would be to yell, but it wasn't.

"Wha…I have a what?" he said talking to himself. He was having an internal war of emotions inside. He was excited because he had a son, sad because he hadn't known about it. Lorelai then dried up her tears and looked into Luke's eyes again.

"A son. You have a son. He…he is um…4 months old, he…" she started.

"4 months? Wait, wouldn't that mean you knew about the pregnancy before…before I left?" he asked as anger started to rise within him.

"Um…yeah. Between a week or two before you left." She knew all of a sudden why he had asked.

"and you couldn't find the time to tell me?" he yelled. _Why would she do that!_ He thought angrily.

"Luke…it was all really complicated and by the time I was ready to tell you I was pregnant, you were gone and…" she started.

"Well then you could have contacted me! I have a son that I don't know about and you decided to wait till you ran into me to tell me? So, if I didn't show up for the next 18 years, you wouldn't try to tell me I had a son? Is that what you are saying?" he yelled

"No Luke that is not what I am saying!" she defended.

"I can't deal with this right now!" he said taking his hat off his head and running his hand through his hair.

"Luke, please…" She pleaded.

"what do you want from me?" he yelled.

" I just need to know how you feel about this! Do you even want a part in you son's life!" she yelled back now furious that he was acting as if their son was some thing to be tossed back and forth; not living and just there for decoration. That child had grown inside of her for nine months, had been her whole life for twelve, and she would not stand to have him insulted like this.

"I just need time to think about this. Time." He said quietly.

"And we all know how things ended up the last time you needed time!" she said in a hateful tone as she passed him and walked out of her office. She was done. There was nothing left to say. He wanted time, he could have it. Just like he did last time only this time, she was not waiting for the final answer. She didn't care anymore.

"Lorelai! Wait!" he said as he rushed after her.

Lorelai went up to the front desk to get the paperwork she needed to work on. She had heard Luke call after her and then saw him follow her but she just ignored his presence. She grabbed the papers from Michel, turned around and walked to the door.

"Ok, Michel, I will see you on Monday!" she said responding to the list of swears he had just thrown at her. She walked out the door with Luke following still.

"Lorelai! Can we please talk! I didn't mean it like that!" Luke said trying to get a response; any response.

"No Luke. We did talk. You had your chance. And I don't care how you meant it! It still hurt to here you insult our son! Oh, sorry, let me correct that statement, MY son!" she yelled as she got into the jeep and sped off towards Sookie's to pick up Jake.

She knew he had not directly insulted Jake, but by showing no interest, he proved that he didn't care. How could he? Why did he have to be like that, so…! She tried to find the word to describe him. Selfish! That was what he was. He was being selfish. He didn't care that maybe he was hurting her all over again.

Her thoughts then drifted towards her son and what Luke being back meant for him. Jake was a 4 month old baby. He didn't know the difference between his father and a random serial killer off the street. A serial killer alright. Luke definitely was a serial killer of hearts. What if Luke decided that he wanted to be a part of their son's life? She knew it would only be her son's life, rather than both her and her son's lives. At this thought tears started streaming down her face. She hated Luke! He brought so much confusion into her life; so much uncertainty.

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dun dun dun! see! i fooled some of you! ha ha! sorry about the fight, but it had to happen! "you said pie! all i heard you say was pie!" sorry, that was just me being...well me! so, you know you want to give me those nice reviews that you have been so graciously giving so far! well, i also want a pony, and some chocolate, and some coffee, and my two front teath, and some pie! ok, well there is my chistmas list. ok. well i hope you enjoyed the chapter. sorry for the randomness in this paragraph. ok, well review review review. there. i am done.


	5. Through and hurting

Disclaimer: i own nothing. nothing nothing nothing! please don't sue.

**Chapter 5: Through and hurting**

She dried her tears as she drove into Sookie's driveway. She checked to see if any of her makeup had run and then walked up to the front door. She knocked on the front door calling Sookie's name.

"Oh Lorelai! Are you alright?" she asked knowing her friend now knew who was at the inn. Sookie didn't however know that she had run into Luke.

"Oh, it's ok Sookie. I'm fine. I am just here to get Jake." She said as she stood in the doorway trying to mask her emotions.

"So you are not mad at me for not telling you that Luke was staying at the inn for a night?" she asked.

"Oh, that little fact wasn't the worst that has happened to me today." She said passing Sookie and entering the house. "Hey Jackson!" she said seeing him sitting at the table feeding Martha.

"Hey Lorelai." He greeted not looking up and obviously not knowing what had just happened to Lorelai.

"What do you mean?" Sookie asked as she shut the door and followed Lorelai through the house.

"Oh, well, lets just say that I had a major daja vu today!" she answered picking Jake up out of the port-a-crib that had been placed in Sookie's bedroom for when Jake needed a nap.

"Hey Jakey!" Lorelai said in a baby voice. He giggled back at her as she blew raspberries on his cheek.

"What?" Sookie asked not understanding her friend.

"Well, the moment I looked up from Luke's name, I saw the actual Luke standing in front of me. I told him we needed to talk." She started. She then continued with, "We went into my office, he told me why he is in town and then I told him he has a 4 month old son." She said to her friend as she retrieved all of Jake's things.

"Uh oh." Sookie said. She knew that Luke would not have reacted well towards that fact.

"And then he pointed out that I must have known before he left town, we got into a fight, and he told me he needed more time. I said something about that not working out the last time and then I left. I am through." She said. She then picked up the toy that Jake had just dropped. "I am done waiting for him to come around. It is just too much and I can't take it anymore. At least now he knows he has a son and he can go brag about how he doesn't need to take care of him because, well I am doing such a good job already." She said with a tone of finality in her voice.

"Oh honey, don't say that. You know Luke loves you still." She said sympathetically.

"No. Don't even say it Sookie. I am sick and tired of people telling me that Luke still loves me. Yes, because god knows that Jackson would leave you for a year just to prove his love!" she said sarcastically.

"Deep down inside I know that Luke…" Sookie started.

"No. Sookie. He doesn't love me! He left! He yelled at me for not telling him he had a son! Which I only did because he left! He didn't even ask for his son's name!" Lorelai yelled out of anger. Her anger was for Luke but she felt as if she was taking it out on Sookie.

"Oh, I am sorry sook. I didn't mean to yell at you. I am mad at Luke and I need some time to clear my head. Ok? I have to get home and get some of that procrastination done!" she said trying to smooth things over with humor.

"Ok. Well you just drive safe!" Sookie yelled after her friend before she shut the front door.

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Lorelai strapped Jake into the backseat of the jeep while rambling on about things in a baby voice that her son wouldn't understand until he was 20. She knew that joking and constant laughter was just a tool she used to mask her feelings. It had always been. Even around her son she tried to act as if everything was fine. She was that way with Rory and she knew it made Rory feel like her mother always had things under control. No one had ever truly known this but Luke. Luke was the only one that she had ever let her guard down to. He was the only one she could remember crying to about what was hurting her inside. And now he was the one causing it. Damn Luke! She shouted in her head. Why couldn't he just have stayed where he was? She hoped that he would be gone by the end of the weekend and out of her life forever. Then she thought about town. She had to get some groceries maybe she would run into him then!

"Oh crap!" she yelled. Jake looked up at her with a shocked look on his face. He was stunned. Lorelai then, noticing the expression on his face, said "oh, honey, it's ok. Mummy was kidding!" she said in a baby laughing voice. The smile she was used to seeing took over his face again.

She then kissed her son on the forehead and walked over to her side of the vehicle. She watched her son place his hand on his head where she had kissed him, obviously confused about what had just happened. She turned around to face front and put the key in the ignition. She drove off towards her house hoping she would figure out about what to do for the next few days so that she wouldn't have to see Luke.

As she pulled up to her house she thought of how at least she had a night to think about before it she did run into him that was if she did. No such luck.

He was sitting there on her steps obviously waiting for her. She got out of her side of the jeep, ignoring him once again. She rounded the vehicle and grabbed the car seat her son was in. she snatched the bag from the floor of the jeep and closed the door. She then walked up to the front of her house and up the steps. Luke reached his hand out to help her with the things she was carrying. She brushed by his hand hoping he got the message that she didn't want him to be there; the message that he should just go.

"Lorelai, come on." He begged.

"Goodbye Luke." She said fumbling for her keys in her purse.

"Lorelai please! Just…" he started.

"Goodbye Luke!" she said clenching her teeth at him. She hated him. Could he not take a hint? Of course not! It had taken him 8 years to finally ask her out and then he couldn't see how much she loved him! Had loved him. How much she had loved him. She told herself.

"Is this him?" he asked eying the Jake in the car seat.

"No, I just picked him up to add to my collection of kids with fathers who don't want them." She said. She hoped it hurt him to hear that. She knew it hurt him.

"What's his name?" he said trying not to show how hurt he was by her comment.

"Oh, well, Luke this is Jacob," she said pointing at her son, "and Jakey," she said in a baby voice, "This is LUKE." She said emphasizing his name.

"Lorelai! You know I would have come back for the sake of our son if you had told me anything about him!" he snapped back.

"Luke, I am not having this conversation with you. You left. Not me. How was I supposed to tell you? I didn't know where you were, and I knew you left to get away from me. Now just go. Leave." She said fitting the key into the lock.

"Why?" he asked sincerely. He grabbed her arm before she could get inside the house. When she didn't answer he asked her again.

"Why?" he asked looking straight into her eyes. She couldn't help but to answer truthfully.

"Because it hurts too much." She said as a single tear streamed down her face. She them walked into her house and slammed the door in his face. He had done it again. He had broken down her shield, only this time by force and with a whole army of emotions. She put the car seat down by the door and leaned against the door. She fell to a sitting position as tears streamed down her face. She let out sobs that she hoped Luke couldn't hear. Little did she know that he did.

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Review! you know you want to...ooo! and you know i want you to! i want you to more than i want a pony! i want you to more than i want apple pie! i want you to more than i want to watch TV (with the exception of gilmore girls)! i want you to more than i want an A in math! i want you to more than i...i...Crap! i'm out! well, i want you to review more than a lot of stuff. well i really hoped you liked it. the next chapter will be mostly fluffy stuff and unimportant, but it has to go somewhere! Review! Review! Review!


	6. The Babysitter and The Sookie

**Wow! this has to be the longest chapter i have writen! sorry i haven't posted in the past few days but i have been busy with some school stuff. i also didn't have that much time to edit so it might have a few grammatical errors. sorry if there are! well, here it is, i way not be able to post another chapter for another couple days, but i will try to post at the soonest possible time. now i will stop talking and let you read what you really want to read! Enjoy!**

Disclaimer: i own nothing.

**Chapter 6: The Babysitter and The Sookie**

Luke was shocked at her response. He knew it was an honest answer because it wasn't full of laughs, or jokes, or pop culture references. He had caused that tear. She had asked him to go, and he had refused. He then heard the sobbing coming from the other side of the door. He raised his hand to knock on the door but then decided against it. she needed time now. He now knew how it felt. She needed time, and he didn't like the fact that she was the one deciding his future; His future with their son; his son. His son's name was Jacob, but she called him Jakey. He thought to himself.

He then decided to back to the inn and give Lorelai some space.

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Lorelai was in that position for at least 15 minutes before she realized that she had to feed her son. She got up and wiped her tears on he sleeve of her jacket.

"Hey baby!" she said lifting Jake out of the seat. "what are you doing?" she asked him as he drooled all over her.

"So, what do you want for dinner?" she asked as she walked into the kitchen looking around for food. "How about some cereal for you, and for me, how about cold pizza!" she said enthusiastically as she pulled out the baby cereal. She set it down on the counter so she could get a bottle; all while still holding her son. She mixed the cereal with some formula and put it in a bottle. She then fed it to Jake.

"so, how do you like your daddy? Oh, wait you know him as luke." She said angry at herself for saying that to Jake about his father. "Yeah, that's what I thought." She said when she saw how uninterested he was in the conversation he was supposedly apart of.

She had then put him down in the bassinette in the living room while getting some 2 day old cold pizza from the refrigerator. She ate in silence until she heard whining coming from the living room. She walked in to find her son cry profusely.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked him as she picked him up and rocked him back and forth. "Do you need a diaper change my little Jakey?" she asked knowing the answer was probably yes. She walked up the stairs to the changing table where all the diapers and such were kept. She didn't know why she didn't keep everything down stairs. It would be so much easier at night, but she never got to the actual relocation of everything. Oh well, this will be a fun night. She thought to herself.

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the next morning Lorelai woke up covered in sweat. Damn dreams! She thought to herself. She had tried to get to sleep for 2 hours and once she finally did, she woke up to a nightmarish dream. She got up out of bed and pulled on a sweatshirt and went into the bathroom. I look like hell! She thought to herself as she glanced in the mirror. She knew that it must have been at least 3:00 in the morning. Well, I am up, so I might as well go finish the paperwork she thought. She really didn't like what Luke being around was doing to her. She hated it in fact. But she didn't want to think about it. She just wanted to burry herself in her work. It was the safest thing to do at the time.

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Lorelai all of a sudden woke up to here a phone ring.

"Ah! Go away!" she yelled at the phone as she curled up on the couch covering her head with pillows trying to block out he sound. She must have fallen asleep while doing the paperwork she thought. When the phone didn't stop ringing she got up to answer it.

"Hello?" she said with her eyes still closed.

"Hey mom!" Lorelai heard Rory say.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" she asked wanting to kill her one and only daughter at that point.

"um…it is 9:00 mom." She answered.

"yah, so? She asked.

"well I expected you to be up because of little Jakey. normally he gets up at 6 or 7 right?" she asked. Lorelai smiled. It was cute that Rory knew when her little brother woke up every morning.

"well I guess he is not up yet. So, what are you doing calling so early on a Saturday morning?" she asked rubbing her eyes.

"Well Sookie called me to tell me that Luke was back in town and you two had some sort of a fight?" she was asking more that explaining.

"Yeah, we did. And I really don't want to talk about this right now. change the subject." She demanded.

"Mom. You have to deal with this. Luke is back and I am guessing you told him about Jake! So, I was wondering If you needed me to come by the house and baby sit while you go out and talk with Luke and maybe…" she started rambling on.

"No. I do not want to discuss this with you Rory! It is something I have to deal with on my own!" she said forcefully into the phone. Rory felt hurt but kept at it. she and her mother had grown apart over the last few months. She knew it was because they rarely got to see each other. Her mother was always busy with the inn or Jake while Rory had school to think about. She then came up with an idea.

"Mom, I know, but I don't have classes today and I was thinking I could come down and just spend the day with my little brother!" she said trying to make it sound more appeasing.

"Fine, Rory. Come by the house at 11. Ok?" she asked giving in. she was giving in to Rory babysitting but not giving into talking with Luke. Rory said ok and then Lorelai hung up the phone. Time to start the morning she thought trudging up the stairs to see what her silent son was up to.

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"Hey mom!" Rory said as she burst through the front door. "Mom! Mom? Mom where are you?" she said listening for her mother's voice.

"In the kitchen hun!" she yelled back. "Here he is!" Lorelai said as she handed Jake over to Rory. "Are you going to parade him around town?" Lorelai asked.

"Always!" was Rory's response. "Hey, mom, where is the stroller?" Rory asked not remembering where her mother usually put it.

"Um, I think it's by the door." She answered as she stuffed a pop tart into her mouth.

"Ahah! I found it!" Rory yelled from the foyer.

"Ok, so here are his things. They are all packed in there. If he needs a diaper change remember he has a rash so use the…" she started going down the list of things she needed to remind Rory to remember.

"Baby butt cream. I got it mom. I have done this before! And even better that you! Do you need reminding of the bookstore incident?" she asked giving her mother a look that said 'do I need to remind you for the millionth time?'.

"No! And that was one time!" she insisted.

"Yah, ok mom. So we will be back in about two hours, ok mom?" she asked her mother.

"Yeah. You two go and have fun! And don't forget the butt…"

"The Butt cream! I got it mom!" She yelled as she exited the house with the baby, diaper bag, and stroller. Lorelai then sat down on the chair in kitchen to finish her cup of coffee.

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"Hello?" Rory said as she answered her cell phone while walking out of her mother's house.

"Hey, it's me." Sookie said.

"Sookie?"

"Yah, I was just about to go see your mother and talk to her. Did you get anything out of her?" Sookie asked.

"No, sorry. She avoided the subject completely. So you are going to talk to her now?"

"Yep." Sookie said.

"Well Sookie, tell me what she tells you and then I might be able to figure out how I can help her." Rory said referring to her mother.

"I will. Are you sure she will talk to me? I mean if she didn't talk to you…" she started.

"Sookie, to her I am still her little baby that needs to see her mother as superwoman. She will at least open up to you more. Ok? Well I have to go Sookie, I have some bonding time to get to. By Sookie." She said.

"Bye!" Sookie said with sincerity in her voice and then they both hung up the phone they were on.

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"Come in!" Lorelai yelled as she heard a knock at the door.

"Hey hon! It's me!" Sookie yelled as she walked into the kitchen to find her friend looking quite depressed with her head in he hands.

"Hey sook!" she said putting on a fake smile for her friend. Sookie was able to see right through it.

"What's wrong?" Sookie asked seating herself at the table across from Lorelai.

"What? Oh, nothing, just lack of sleep I guess. Why?" she asked Sookie.

"Lorelai, I know you don't want to talk to anyone, but it might do you some good!" Sookie said. Lorelai could tell she was right but she didn't want to talk.

"talk about what?" she asked acting as if she didn't know the answer she was going to get.

"Luke." Sookie said.

"Sookie I really can't talk to you about this. I have it all under control. Don't worry about me!" she said trying to get Sookie to understand that this was not a subject she wanted to be discussing.

"You do not have everything under control. Lorelai, it is like you said to me. I have known you for over a decade, and in that time, I have always been able to tell when you were lying to me. This, Lorelai, this is lying." She said repeating Lorelai's exact words from a day earlier almost word for word.

You have not always known when I was lying! She thought to herself. But then again, she is right this time. She added to her original thought.

"Sookie," she started.

"Lorelai what happened?" Sookie asked. She had known that Luke had been at the house the day before. They were seen by Babette and then the word spread around that Lorelai had gotten mad about something. There had been yelling. Babette hadn't been able to make out what they were saying but she knew there were some pretty hateful words exchanged.

"What happened when? I told you about the inn! He yelled I yelled, we both yelled. End of story." She summarized to her friend.

"I know, but what happened yesterday here?" she asked Lorelai.

"What? How did you know about that?" she asked astonished that her friend knew what happened only 12 hours after the fact.

"You're neighbors with Babette." She informed Lorelai.

"Oh, yeah. That would do it." Lorelai said laughing into her hands and then wiping her face with them. She removed them to see Sookie looking at her obviously waiting for her to say something. "What?" she asked.

"Lorelai, what happened?" she said trying to get her best friend to open up. Sookie had never been very successful at it but she had to try.

"Ah, fine!" she gave in. "When I got home after I picked Jake up from your house, I saw Luke waiting on the steps for me. I guess he tried to help me and I just brushed him off." She added while fidgeting with her coffee cup in front of her. "He then acted as if he wanted to talk. I told him to leave or I said goodbye or something like that. But he wouldn't leave. He then asked if Jake was his son. I insulted him or something by saying Luke didn't want to be in Jake's life." She said looking down at the coffee in the cup.

"Oh Lorelai," Sookie started.

"Hold on, there's more." Lorelai said stopping Sookie. Once Lorelai started talking, there was no stopping her. "Then he wanted to know Jake's name. I told him. Then I went and insulted Luke again by introducing him to Jake as "Luke" rather than his father. I still can't believe I did that! I could tell I had hurt him. He then defended himself by saying he would have been here if he had known about Jake. And then I told him to leave. He asked why and I told him the truth; I told him that it hurt too much to talk to him." She finished as she tried to hold back tears.

"Oh, honey!" Sookie said as she rushed over to comfort her friend. Sookie then pulled Lorelai into a big hug.

After crying for about 60 more seconds, Lorelai broke away from Sookie's embrace. She wiped her tears from her face with her hand but still continued to cry.

"I know that I should give Jake the chance of having a father around, but I just can't have Luke coming over everyday to see him and then leaving. I know it isn't fair but I can't get over Luke if he is here everyday only playing the father role. I don't know how things are going to end up Sookie, and that scares me. I have always, always had control over everything in my life. That is how I get through the day. Luke coming back is like throwing a wild card into the batch; it could go either way." She added as she wiped her tears and stopped crying.

"I mean, I would love to have Luke in Jake's life, but I don't know if I can bare it if Luke isn't in mine. Listen to me, I am babbling on about my ex boyfriend who got me pregnant and now wants to be part of our son's life. Wow! That just sounded so much like a description of Christopher!" she said to Sookie.

"But Luke is not Christopher. Christopher was never reliable or at least that what I have heard over the years from you. Luke isn't like that. You know that, I know you do." She said trying to reassure her best friend who seemed to doubt what she should be trusting.

"I guess." Lorelai said as she ran Sookie's words through her head. Was she right? Was Luke more reliable than Chris was? She thought. Of course he is! One voice screamed. Yes, but he ran away at the first sign of trouble. He didn't wait to see what would happen. He backed out the moment he thought it was too hard for him to deal with! The other voice yelled in her head. The first voice couldn't find a comeback for that statement. Why had Luke run? Did he not trust me enough to believe me when I said nothing happened between me and Christopher was true? Who is he to yell at me for not trusting him to be ok with me being pregnant when he couldn't even trust me to be fully honest! She thought in anger. These questions were valid and she knew that she would need them answered before she even allowed Luke to enter her son's life. She needed to know before she could move on. She needed her closure.

"Hey, honey, what are you thinking?" Sookie asked when she noticed how silent Lorelai was. Lorelai quickly snapped out of her train of thought when she heard Sookie's voice.

"I'm sorry, what?" Lorelai asked.

"I wanted to know what your thinking." She stated.

"Oh, just some more Luke stuff. Hey what time did Jackson want you back?" she asked trying to change the subject. Enough had been said and she just needed some alone time to think some more.

"Oh! Crap!" she said noticing the time. "Actually in about 30 seconds! So, I am going to go. I am sorry about the Luke thing. I hope you two work it out." She said as she walked to the door.

"Ok. Thanks Sookie. Bye!" she yelled so Sookie could hear her. Lorelai then closed the closed the door. Wow! It had been some day! She thought to herself.

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	7. Two spats, One a Pickle

**I am so sorry that this is taking so long to get written! I am also sorry that it is really short compared to the last chapter. well, I hope that you forgive me, i promise that my updates will happen sooner now! Oh! and i would like to thank all of my wonderful reviewers! keep reviewing and i promise a happy ending!**

Disclaimer: i still own nothing. get over it!

**Chapter 7: Two spats, One a pickle**

"Ok Sookie. Thanks. Yeah, I will. Bye." Rory said as she walked down the street towards Doose's pushing Jake in the stroller. She then hung up the phone.

Rory had just been talking to Sookie about what Lorelai had told her. She was surprised to hear that Luke had stopped by again after the fight. Didn't he know how much he must have hurt her? She thought. And then her mind skipped to the part of Sookie's story where Lorelai had had expressed her feelings on the situation. It seemed as if her mother still loved Luke but didn't want her heart broken again. That was just how her mother was; she gets hurt and then shuts herself away from the world before anyone has the opportunity to do it again.

Her mother wanted Luke back. She knew it, but would her mother's pride and her emotional survival instincts allow her to try?

She entered the little grocery store still pushing the stroller. Jake was silently watching everything around him. He observed the people passing by him. He took in the surroundings and the new environment they had just entered.

Rory grabbed a basket and went straight to the chip isle. She looked at the shelf, choosing three different bags and then moving on. By the time she had made it to the cereal, she had pop tarts, Twinkies, marshmallows, and every other sugary food imaginable in the red doose's shopping basket she was carrying. She quickly grabbed the cereals she needed and then went to pay for everything. She made sure to grab some coffee ice cream for her mother too on her way to the front.

As they stood in line Kirk and Taylor were fighting over the price of a jar of pickles.

"But they were 1.50 the last time I was here!" Kirk yelled in a whiny voice.

"And now they are 1.60." Taylor argued forcefully.

"But I want the pickles for 1.50!" Kirk stated.

"You are not getting my pickles for 1.50. My pickles are 1.60 now Kirk. Take it or leave it!" Taylor yelled back. Rory was now about to erupt into laughter. Jake was cooing with a huge smile on his face. This is so funny! Rory thought.

"Fine!" Kirk said in defeat as he slammed the money on the counter and hastily skulked out of Doose's. If only mom had been here to see that! Rory thought.

As Taylor was finishing up with scanning the items that Rory had set on the counter, she looked out the door and saw him. Luke, she thought. He was outside helping some woman with bags. He put some in her car and walked back to her to get some more.

"That will be 17.58." Taylor said bring Rory back to reality after staring at Luke for 3 minutes.

"What, oh! Ok, here." She said giving him a twenty.

"Here you go, enjoy your day!" Taylor said handing Rory the change and the bags. She then flashed him a quick smile and headed out the door, bags in hand, stroller in front.

"Hey Luke!" she greeted as she walked up to him.

"Hey…uh, Rory." He greeted back. He didn't know if she knew exactly what had transpired between him and Lorelai. He knew she had heard that he was back in town from the lack of shock in her voice. He then looked down to notice the baby in the stroller she was pushing. It was Lorelai's son; his son.

"So, who's that?" she asked pointing to the woman he had been helping earlier.

"Who?" he asked looking behind him to see who she was talking about, "oh, that's my sister Liz." He answered when he saw where Rory's finger was pointing. Phew! Rory thought.

"Oh." Sounding disappointed but she was actually quite relieved that it was only his sister.

She had never really gotten to meat Luke's sister, but she had heard stories. These stories had been collected from many different sources but she had not once met Liz or even seen a picture of her.

"So, how are you?" Luke asked changing the subject.

"I'm good. Junior year of college, you know." She said in a casual tone.

"Oh yeah! How's that going for you?" he asked. He had not talked to her in a while and had wondered as much about her in the past year as he did Lorelai; A LOT!

"Uh…Good, it's doing good. Teachers like to give you undoable assignments, you get good grades, bad grades, grades in general." She said. She felt nervous and just wanted to get off this topic. She had more important things to discuss.

"So," Luke said, realizing Rory's lack of enthusiasm in the conversation turned his face to the baby in the stroller, "I am guessing that this is Jacob?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah, but we call him Jake. Jakey sometimes too." She said watching Luke. He seemed stiff and uncomfortable.

"ok, well," Luke started. He wanted so desperately to hold his son. He didn't know why but he felt that once he had held him for the first time, that it would actually hit him; it would become reality. He had son. Even though he had gone over this thought over and over again he still half expected to hear a ringing that was an alarm clock waking him up from a dream, a very odd dream.

Just then Rory's phone rang which brought Luke back to reality.

"Hello?" she asked as she answered her phone.

"Hey babe!" she heard her mother speaking to her.

"Hey, so what do you need?" she asked knowing her mother must be calling for a reason.

"Well see, I just finished off the last pop tart here. So that means I need more and some more cereal would be nice and…" Lorelai said going down the list of things she needed.

"Mom! I got you some pop tarts now stop and tell me the real reason you called!" she said.

As soon as Luke had heard Rory say 'Mom' into the phone he had looked up. He had been concentrating on his shoes previously. He had come to the conclusion that new shoes were needed because his were starting to give way to a hole on the toe.

"Well," Lorelai continued, "I was wondering how my little boy was doing." she stated.

"Oh, so that is all? Well he is happily sitting in the stroller right now chewing his fingers." She said looking at her little brother.

"Have you gotten to the bonding part of the outing yet?" Lorelai asked.

"No, we were just on the street when we ran into…" she started and then stopped herself when she caught herself almost telling her mother that she had run into Luke. Luke was looking at Rory now wondering what she was going to tell her mother. He thought again decided she would probably tell her that it had been some crazy random person on the street.

"Ran into who? You ran into who?" Lorelai said eagerly when Rory failed to finish her sentence.

"Uh…just Taylor. He was acting crazy. Something about another town event or something. Well I gotta go; I will see you in a bit. Bye mom." She said quickly hanging up without giving Lorelai a chance to respond to what she had just said or even give her a chance to say goodbye.

"So…that was your mom?" Luke asked.

"uh, yeah. She was just calling to check up on Jake." She said answering his unsaid question along with the one actually asked.

"So…" Luke started, "How is she?" he finished. He was referring to Lorelai.

"Uh, good. She hasn't dated anyone if that is what you mean. She still denies your existence; she closes herself off from the world…" Rory had now become angry. She didn't know why but she had. "Oh, and don't forget the big one of the year: she is still heartbroken! Because of you of course." she added. She had turned into her mother at this point; she was now trying to hurt him in anyway she could.

"Rory I…" he tried to stop her.

"Luke. You. Broke. Her. Heart. No one has ever hurt her before like you have. Oh, and you blaming her because she didn't come and track you down when you left, that is not fair! You left, not her! End of story. Now, if you don't mind," she said now cooling down a bit, "I have something more important to do." She said as she pushed the stroller towards home while still holding the Doose's bags full of food.

Luke had not even gotten a chance to tell his side of the story. He was still mad at Lorelai somewhat, but was surprised to see Rory act the way she did. He had never seen her defend her mother like that. He now realized that she was right, but how was he to go from there? Should he rush over to Lorelai's house and profess his never ending love to Lorelai? how was he even supposed to approach her without them ending up in an argument? He didn't know.

"Luke, can you help me with this?" Liz asked him not aware of the event that had just taken place. Luke then snapped out of his thought process and went to help his sister with some bags.

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review! you know you want to...just push the little button and all your dreams will come true! review! review! review!

NEXT CHAPTER: flashback number 345543! just kidding! it is only about the 5th or 6th. lorelai thinks back to the day Jake was born. It reveals his full name too for all of you out there who have a strange need to know his name (i know a few of you out there).


	8. Naming Memories

**oh my god! this document took about 9 tries to get it uploaded! It was so horrible! I was about to give up! But i didn't and voila! this chapter exists! yay! ok, so thank you to all my wonderful reviewers and the snow for giving me a day off from school. So here is the chapter, and enjoy!**

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my little book of fairy tales that i got for christmas when i was little. please don't sue because i really do like to read that book some times. if you do sue, you would end up with my fairy tales book and i would be devestated.

**Chapter 8: Naming Memories**

Lorelai was wondering when Rory would get home. At the moment Lorelai was sitting on the couch with the TV on in front of her. She wasn't really watching it because it was something stupid. She was also too busy thinking about what had happened over the past few days and wondering how things would be in a few weeks; wondering how things would change.

She then got up and walked over to the window behind the couch. She stared outside. It was like a movie show all by itself. She watched Babette and Morey outside talking to the garden gnomes while she could see little kids playing on the sidewalk. She wondered if her little boy would ever be one of those kids that didn't listen when told to stay in the yard and play. The little boy she wanted was one who wanted to go fishing with his daddy, one who wanted to learn how to cook like his daddy, one who loved his mommy as much as his daddy did. No! Luke does not love me! He left! He may love our son, but he left because of me!

She then wondered why Luke just couldn't see that he could only make her life even more of a living hell by being there in her life. She couldn't hold her tears in when he was around. He was able to smash through her defenses and cross the mote of humor she surrounded herself with anytime anyone got too close. He was able to see right through her and that scared her. She never had full control of the situation when he was around.

What would life if Luke hadn't left and we had gotten back together? She thought to herself. Then he would have been there during the pregnancy. He would have gone shopping for baby clothes with her and maybe made a crib for their son. She could just see him doing those things. And then she thought, he would have been there to help me give birth to our little boy; our son; would have been there for me to curse at, and to give me a chance to cut off the blood flow to his hand. I may have even gotten away with throwing ice chips at him. She smiled at the thought of Luke having to dodge ice chips being thrown by her while she was giving birth. She then thought back to the day when Jake was born.

_"Hey sugar! You look like you are about to pop!" Babette commented as Lorelai strolled down the sidewalk towards Weston's. She didn't care what Luke would have told her to do, she had not given up coffee. She had promised Rory that she would cut back, but she would not give it up!_

_"Yep! I am due the first of November. I swear that he is ready to come out now though!" she responded._

_"well, you got a week and a half left!" she said. Babette was walking down the street holding some form of polish in her hand. Probably for her gnomes, Lorelai thought. "so, what's the name goin' be?" Babette asked. Lorelai had only told Rory what she planned to name the baby._

_"Well you know I can't tell you that. You will just have to wait and see!" she said knowing the town was dying to know every little detail of its soon to be newest member. The town also was quite curious to see how Luke's child would turn out. They had never seen him as the one to contribute to the creation of a child. He was always 'Mr. anti-jam hands' man to them. _

_Lorelai was laughing inside thinking about what everyone had done to try and find out the name. Miss Patty had tried tapping her phone, Taylor had tried bribing her with a 3 discount off baby supplies, Kirk had offered his babysitting services (which she immediately refused). Gypsy had tried to threaten her by refusing her service and the rest of the town had just been…well the town. There had been many threats (on both parts might I add) and many proposed bribes, but Lorelai had not caved._

_"ah, well I try sugar!" she said smiling and laughing. "well, I have to go. Got some polishing to do." Babette added while holding the polish up that was in her hand._

_"yep! I have coffee to get! See you later Babette!" she said as she turned around and continued on her way._

_Lorelai had then gone into Weston's and gotten some coffee and a chocolate donut. She sat down at one of the little tables to enjoy her food and coffee. She started to think what it would be like in a week or two. She would have a new baby; A new life to care for besides her own. _

_She placed her hand on her belly and rubbed it as she sipped her coffee. She smiled when she felt Jake kick. She really wished that Luke was there to feel it. She felt guilty for not telling him but how was she supposes to? She didn't know where he was and she had no way of getting that information. She then pushed that thought to the back of her head when she felt Jake kick again._

_It was so astonishing how connected she felt towards the growing child inside. She never remembered feeling this way when she was pregnant with Rory. She smiled at the thought of getting a boy this time. She had had months for that realization to sink in but it wouldn't truly sink in until she was holding her tiny son in her arms._

_Just then she felt a sharp pain in her side._

"_Ow!" she exclaimed. It wasn't loud enough for the people around her to notice. She just passes it off as a cramp. She knew that babies were born a week or two early all the time but not her. Rory had been born a day late, so maybe this was just some stupid cramp trying to ruin her morning._

_She walked over to the counter to pay and then walked out of Weston's carrying the cup of coffee she had not finished. She decided to head to the inn to get started early on her work._

_When she got there she immediately walked to the kitchen to talk to Sookie. Sookie was always the one to cheer her up in the morning and always made it so Lorelai's day started out good. _

"_Hey sook!" she said as she entered the kitchen. It looked as if Sookie was just walking around making sure everyone was doing there job and doing it correctly._

"_Hey! What ya up to?" she asked. "Put that in the oven! But only for 23.5 minutes!" she said giving directions to one of her workers. _

"_Nothing. I just went to Weston's to get my coffee and donut today." She Said picking up an apple and taking a bite from it. _

"_You know coffee is not good for the," she started._

"_Yes I know it is not good for Ja…the baby!" she said almost slipping. She hadn't even told Sookie what the name was going to be. She wanted it to be a surprise. _

"_And your reasoning is?" she asked._

"_Well, see the coffee makes me happy which makes the baby happy, which gives him a lower chance of depression as a teenager." She said as if it was that obvious._

"_Well of course! That makes perfect sense!" Sookie said sarcastically._

"_Why yes, it..OW!" she yelled grabbing her stomach. The same pain that she had gotten earlier at Weston's was back only this time it was worse; a lot worse! _

"_Lorelai what is it?" Sookie said rushing over to her._

"_Oh, my god! I don't remember it hurting this much!" Lorelai said knowing she was getting contractions._

"_What? Are you going into labor?" she asked urgently._

_Lorelai was in too much pain to answer. She leaned on the island in the middle of the kitchen for support. She was still clutching her abdomen as she winced from the pain._

"_Lorelai! Are you having a contraction?" Sookie asked knowing what it must have felt like only have given birth 5 months previously. _

_Lorelai nodded her head violently trying to keep back tears that were starting to form._

"_Sookie…Hospital…" was all she could say._

"_OK!" Sookie said planning to bring Lorelai to the hospital. She knew that Lorelai kept a bag for the hospital in her jeep just incase something like this happened. She instructed the cooking crew to help Lorelai out to Sookie's car while Sookie herself rushed out to get the bag and then inform Michele where they were going._

_----------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Once in the car, Lorelai could feel the contraction ending. She sighed out and wiped the tears from her face. _

_"You ok?" Sookie asked as she saw her friend relax and lean back in the seat._

_"yah, damn contractions! They hurt like hell!" she said closing her eyes._

_"yeah. So I take it they have stopped momentarily?" Sookie asked as she started to pull out of the driveway of the dragonfly._

_"for now." Lorelai responded while rubbing he belly. She knew that the next one would come, it was inevitable, but it was too soon when it did come. _

_"Oh! Not another one!" she said again wincing in pain. _

_"it's ok honey, it's ok." Sookie said trying to comfort her friend. She was holding Lorelai's hand now, and Lorelai was squeezing it. _

_"Luke!" Lorelai moaned. Sookie didn't know how to respond to this. She knew at that point that all Lorelai wanted now was her best friend, her lover, her Luke. But there was no way for that wish to come true. Luke was not there and he wouldn't be at all through the birth._

_-------------------------------------------------------_

_After 25 minutes of driving, Sookie pulled into the hospital parking lot. She quickly jumped out of the car and ran over to the passenger side of the vehicle to help Lorelai out._

_5 minutes later, they had made it into the hospital, Lorelai had filled out some papers, Rory had been contacted, and Lorelai was now changing into a little hospital gown. _

_Sookie was waiting in Lorelai's room while Lorelai changed in the bathroom when Rory came rushing into the room._

_"MOM?" she yelled._

_"Rory, your mom is changing in the bathroom." Sookie informed her._

_"What? Ok, is she alright?" she asked not used to the whole hospital scene._

_"She is fine; she has just been having contractions over the past half an hour at least. But she is fine" Sookie said seeing how much Rory was worried for her mother._

_"Hey, what's going on out here?" Lorelai asked coming out of the bathroom with the gown on and obviously not having a contraction._

_"Hey mom!" Rory said as she rushed over to give her mom a quick hug. Lorelai then walked over to the bed that was in the room and situated herself under the sheets._

_------------------------------------------------------_

_"you are almost fully dilated now Ms. Gilmore." The nurse said throwing the latex glove into the trash. "The doctor will be in within the next few minutes." The nurse said and then she walked out the door. _

_Sookie was the one at the head of the bed with Lorelai right now. Sookie would be the one helping her with the birth. Rory, being Rory, had refused to be in the room to see her little brother 'come around the mountain' so she was waiting in the waiting room. _

_"So, you are going to be a mommy again!" Sookie said enthusiastically._

_"Oh Yay! Real fun! See it is the getting the kid out that is the hardest pa…OW! Oh, god! Where is that damn doctor?" she said feeling that the baby wanted to be born now, not wait a few minutes. _

_As if on queue, the doctor entered the room followed by and entourage of nurses._

_"So, I see that you are fully dilated now." the doctor said as he put on latex gloves and sat down on the stool at the end of the bed. _

_"God just get it out!" she yelled as the pain ran throughout her lower body. _

_"Now I am going to count to ten. You push for that time and then breathe out." The doctor said._

_"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. And breathe out." He said as she blew out. "And one, two, three…" he repeated as she cursed and screamed. _

_As soon as the head was visible the doctor said "about two more pushes and you will have yourself a new little baby." _

_Lorelai was in so much pain that all she wanted was to give up, go to sleep wake up and have it all just be a dream. But she couldn't. _

_"Come on Lorelai, just two more pushes! And you can see the head now!" Sookie said trying to encourage Lorelai. _

_Two pushes later there was squealing heard from both a baby, and Sookie. Lorelai was crying. The reasoning being that the pain had subsided, and that she was so happy to finally have her little boy. _

_"And it's a boy!" the doctor said placing the little boy on Lorelai and handing her the scissors. "Would you like to cut the cord?" he asked._

_Lorelai just nodded and then she cut the cord right above the yellow clip they had clipped on the umbilical cord. _

_They then took Lorelai's little boy across the room so they could weigh him, measure him, and give him the necessary vaccinations. One of the nurses came up to Lorelai to ask the name._

_"And what is his name?" she asked._

_"Jacob William Danes" she said. She had had thought of the name one of the nights of her restless nights thinking about Luke and his parents and what would have been different if they were alive. The last name was solely out of love for Luke. She also wanted her son to grow up with some connection to his father that Rory never had. Of course Christopher was some how different from Luke; she had never loved Christopher, but she had spent so much time trying to convince herself that she did. With Luke it was the other way around; she had now spent the last 8 months trying to convince herself that she didn't love Luke. It was all a lie though._

_"OH! That is so cute!" Sookie exclaimed. Sookie knew why Lorelai had chosen the middle name and the last but the first was a mystery. Maybe it was to mask to real meaning behind the name; to hide what Lorelai was really feeling._

_"Yah, but we are going to call him Jake or Jakey. it is more cute and baby material. What do you think?" Lorelai asked her friend._

_"I think it is even cuter!" Sookie said in a more serious tone._

Lorelai remembered that moment. She remembered having to put on a fake smile for Sookie. At that moment in time she had felt as if Luke should have been there telling her that no son of his would be called Jakey! But he wasn't. Lorelai only had Sookie to comment on how cute the name was and how cute Jake was. She didn't have her Luke though.

"MOM! We're home!" Rory yelled as she entered the house.

"oh! My two favorite children in the world!" Lorelai exclaimed as she got up and walked over to Rory and Jake.

"Oh, and where would your least favorite children be?" Rory asked.

"Oh, well I keep them stored somewhere so when I get bored of you I can just trade you in!" she said jokingly.

"Ah! well don't we feel loved!" Rory said sarcastically as she picked up her little brother.

"Hand him over! I need to see how much he has grown!" Lorelai said reaching out her arms.

"for one thing, I don't think he has grown much in the last 2 hours, and two, you are never holding your child again!"

"But why!" Lorelai asked with a puzzled look on her face.

"You just threatened to store us in a warehouse when you got bored of us!" Rory said.

"And you took me seriously? God, when would I have had time in my life to give birth to more than you two when I so busy perfecting you!" she said pointing at Rory.

"oh, my outcome had nothing to do with you 'perfecting' me! It was pure genetics!" Rory said.

"OH! Now you admit you're related to me!" Lorelai said triumphantly knowing she had won. She then took the opportunity to grab her son from the arms of Rory.

"Ha! I win!" Lorelai said sticking her tongue out at Rory. "Did your meany big sister keep you from your mommy?" Lorelai asked Jake as he yawned.

"Oh, I have to say I think someone needs a nap!" Lorelai said holding Jake to her chest so he could snuggle in.

"Oh, well Jakey needs a nap too mom." Rory said smiling at her mom.

"Funny! Very funny. I will deal with you in a minute!" she said pointing her finger at Rory and then walking up the stairs to her room.

When she got up to her room, she changed Jake's diaper, changed his clothes, and then placed him in his crib.

When Lorelai walked back down the stairs she found Rory in the kitchen looking at something.

"Hey, what ya got there?" she asked as she made her way into the kitchen after tripping twice on the clutter all over the floor. God I need to clean up! Lorelai thought to herself.

"Oh, it's just a photo album that was here when I came in. were you looking at it?" Rory asked.

"Ah, yah. I got bored after Sookie stopped by and I just pulled it out." She responded rubbing her forehead.

She saw unorganized pictures staring at her. She didn't even remember having half of them taken, but they were there.

"Mom, when was this taken?" Rory asked pointing to a picture of a little girl, obviously Rory, about the age of 5 or 6 being pushed on a swing by a younger and happier Lorelai. it seemed to be early may in the picture. Rory had her hair down and blowing in the wind. She was wearing a plain pink t-shirt and shorts that seemed to be pants with the legs cut off. Lorelai was wearing the same type of jeans, but had a tan tank top on. They both looked so happy. They had grown apart since then. Not much, but they didn't tell each other everything any more. Lorelai's true feeling towards Luke for example.

"Ah, that was at the inn when you were about 5. You were such a happy kid." Lorelai added sitting down in the chair next to Rory.

The next few pages were filled with younger Rory and Lorelais. Always happy, always together.

When they got to a picture of Lorelai and Luke, Rory stopped turning the pages. It was a picture of Luke and Lorelai on some holiday. Lorelai remembered that holiday. It was Christmas. It had always seemed like a different holiday after that Christmas. she didn't know why until she took the picture out and flipped it over. It read:

_**Christmas, 1996**_

She then realized that that was the year she had met Luke; The first Christmas with Luke somewhere in her life. She flipped the picture over again to see the two happiest people on earth.

In the picture Lorelai had her hair down in loose, bouncing curls. She was wearing a nice red turtleneck shirt, and a black skirt that was 6 inches from her knee. Luke was typical Luke with a blue flannel on and some jeans. He did look as if he has shaved though. The picture showed Lorelai and Luke on the porch. Lorelai was leaning on the railing, obviously laughing hysterically at a joke or something. Luke just had a smile on. The smile. It was the smile that only Lorelai could make Luke show. Rather than smiling at what the other person had just said, he was smiling at how happy Lorelai had been at that moment and how he had been the cause.

Lorelai knew all of this because at the last Christmas that she and Luke spent together, the only Christmas, was the one where they had shared tales of past holidays together. That was one of the ones that had come up. She smiled as she remembered that. It had been a happy time. At that moment in the past she had wanted to feel that happiness always. If only she had gotten what she wanted.

"Next!" Lorelai said instructing Rory to change to the next page.

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There you go! i believe that is my longest chapter yet. there is only a few more left until the end! No! It should never end! but alas, it does. not yet though!

Review! Review! Review! please! after what i went through to get this chapter up so quickly, i really need something happy in my life. and if you haven't noticed, reviews count as big clumps of happiness in my world. i know, i am strange! but it is fun! and i get many funny looks from people who don't know me! like at the mall the other day! i was in a store christmas shopping and i was jumping up and down like a crazy lunatic. i believe the words "escapey" and "asylum" were mentioned a couple times. oh well. so remember to review! Review! Review!


	9. and the wall came tumbling down

**Sorry this chapter is a little short, but it holds a lot of purpose in the story. It is VERY important. ok, so when you finish reading this chapter, please don't try and track me down and then kill me. this is the second chapter posted today i believe and that should make you guys really happy! happy! happy! happy! **

So i will stop talking and let you get back to the wonderful story i have written for you all! Disclaimer: refer back to previous chapters.

**Chapter 9: And the Wall Came Tumbling Down**

"Bye mom!" Rory shouted as she reached her car.

"Bye babe! Give the new guy a kiss for me!" Lorelai responded. The last comment was referring to Rory's new boyfriend. Lorelai didn't know much, but what she had heard was that he was a good guy. And he had great taste in movies.

"I will!" Rory said. She then got into her car and pulled out of the driveway.

Lorelai walked back into the house to grab the baby monitor and then walked back outside to sit on the swing on the porch. It was where she had started to go in the last year whenever she had needed to think.

As Lorelai sat down, she pulled the blanket that had been laying there over her legs. She kept running the same thoughts through her head: to let him in or not to let him in. that is the question. She thought to herself. She was even joking to herself now!

"Lorelai?" she heard a voice in front of her. She hadn't been paying much attention to what was going on so she hadn't seen Luke pull up in his truck.

"Oh! Luke! What are you doing here?" she questioned.

"I, uh…I uh came to talk to you. I ran into Rory earlier." He told truthfully.

"You did? She didn't tell me." She said wondering why. Lorelai was too exhausted to fight Luke on this. If he wanted to be there then fine. She was still halfway in dream land still too. Luke sat down on the swing next to Lorelai.

"Oh, I thought she would, but anyways, I came here to talk to you about us and our…our son." He said. It took some effort to get out the last part.

"Luke, I really can't do this. I am too tired and I just need a break!" she said in a desperate tone. "I can't talk to you because it just adds to the exhaustion. I just…" she then broke down and started to cry. Luke didn't know what to do. Should he comfort her or would that be crossing the line? He decided that she needed him right now. After a year of bottled up feelings, she needed someone.

"Shhhhhh. I'm here." He said rocking her back and forth while stroking her hair. They stayed like that for about 3 minutes until Lorelai realized what was happening. She jumped up from where she was which startled Luke.

"No! Luke, I can't do this! I can't have you coming around here! You just need to leave and please don't come back" she said as tears rolled down her cheek. She couldn't help but to say those things. It was the only thing that would make this pain bearable.

"What?" Luke asked shocked at what he was hearing.

"Luke, just leave!" she yelled. Tears streamed down her face. She was having such a hard time telling him this, but she felt as if it would benefit her more in the future just to let him go; to make him go.

"What, NO! I will not! I did last time to give you space but not this time. Yes I screwed up last time. Yes I was the one who left, but he is still my son!" he yelled back. He was not giving up without a fight.

"Luke, do you know what it is like, waking up every morning thinking 'it is my fault my son doesn't have his father!'? Do you Luke because I don't think you do. I have had to deal with that for a year now! I have gotten used to it. I have gotten used to you being gone. And now you come back and you want back in because you have a son?" She yelled finally releasing all of the feelings that she had been feeling over the past year to their full extent.

"Luke, I can't stand to know that the only reason that you will be staying around is because you feel obligated to be there for our son. I have done this once, I can do it again. You being here causes so much…so much pain," she was now crying even more, "and I don't know if I can live with that pain. That pain is what has been keeping me up all of those nights. That pain is only magnified when you are around! I can't stand to know that you hate me, but yet are still here for our son! You don't need to be here Luke. Just go. Please don't make me say it again because it will only cause more hurt on both our parts." She said as she grabbed the baby monitor and walked past Luke and into the house. She went to slam the door behind her but it never did close. Luke caught it and chased her into the house.

"Don't you dare Lorelai! don't you dare cut me off from my son's life!"

"Luke, he wouldn't even know your face! He looks at me and he knows I am his mother. He looks at Rory and he knows that she is somehow apart of his life. God, he can even recognize Sookie's face! But not yours Luke, not yours." She said as she started to clean the house. It was the only thing she could do to keep from breaking down again.

"Lorelai, you know that I can't help that. Maybe if things had gone differently in the past.." he started but was cut off by Lorelai.

"If things had gone differently? If things had gone differently? Who the hell are you trying to kid! You Luke! You are the reason we are having this argument! And don't tell me it was me because I lied to you! Because even though I didn't tell you about that INNOCENT visit I had with Chris, you still did not believe me! I trusted you on everything Luke! I trusted you my body, my family, and my heart! You threw that trust in my face! You were too afraid to stick around and see what would happen even after that! You were afraid of what would happen in the relationship and you ran! You ran from me, at first just figuratively, but then you actually left town! Luke! I trusted you! I trusted you more than anyone else on this earth, and you took that and hurt me with it! Now you just want me to let you back in? No! Hell! No!" she yelled.

"Lorelai, if you had…" he started but then there was screaming heard through the baby monitor.

"Wait here. I'll be back to deal with you in a second!" she said as she rushed up the stairs to get the baby.

"Hey hun! Sorry mummy was being so loud. I didn't mean to wake you up." She said trying to get Jake back to sleep. After 10 minutes of it, she decided to take him down with her. She carried him down the stairs and into the view of Luke. Jake was still whining a bit and Lorelai was trying to calm him down still. She figured the yelling must have scared him.

"Hey, Shhhhhh. Mummy's here. I am so sorry. Shhhhhh." She said to the baby as he cuddled into her chest. Luke couldn't help but smile. Never had he seen Lorelai with a baby, let alone theirs. She was so calm and caring. He could see it in the way she and Jake reacted to each other.

"See this Luke," Lorelai said pointing to the child in her arms. "this is all I need. All he needs is me. Luke just go. I did once dream that you would come back and we would be a happy family," she said as she place Jake in the bassinet, "that me and you would argue about my coffee habits, we would go shopping , I would get to argue with you about dressing our child in a little flannel shirt and a backwards baseball hat, but I have realized it is never going to happen. My dreams and wishes were not only of you wanting to be a part of your son's life, but wanting to be a part of mine; a part of this family." She concluded. She had not said it in a harsh tone, or a sad tone, and angry, a happy, or any other tone you can describe through emotions. She had just spoken in a tone that was 'a matter of factly'.

"Now, Luke, please go." She asked him more than demanded. He simply just walked out. Out of her house, out her life. He didn't know what else to do. She wanted him gone and he knew he couldn't force his presence on her. He hated this. He wanted to wake up from that dream more than ever now. "Lorelai" he whispered to himself as he made his way to the truck.

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hey! so, i love to read your pretty pretty reviews! you know i read them because i respond to almost all of you! so, what do you think of this chapter? are you recruiting people for your angry mobs yet? If you didn't like this chapter, did you at least like the title? it's pretty snazzy isn't it? ok, so review. please give me feedback on what you liked and what you didn't like. i really like to see what you full opinion of my writing is. REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!


	10. Coming, Going, and Leave!

**Sorry it took so long! I had to take a break from writing. Don't get me wrong, i love it, but it just tires you out sometimes. So, my tenth chapter. Yay! After this there is only one more. Ah! it is coming to an end! NO! So thanks for waiting and i hope you enjoy it! Oh! And i would like to thank all of my reviewers. most of you i already responded to the reviews you gave me but you are so special that i think you deserve more thanking! I really appreciate it and i am sure that every other writer would agree that reviews is the best way to repay them for taking the time to write their story! so, i will stop rambling and let you get back to my story! **

Disclaimer: i still own nothing.

**Chapter 10: Coming, Going, and Leave!**

"What the hell have I just done?" Lorelai asked herself in a whisper. She had just told Luke to go, to leave, to never come back.

"Oh, dear god no!" she said as she crumbled onto the couch in sobs. She hated herself. Why did she always have to push him away? She now knew that she loved him. There was no doubt in her mind. But it was too late. Luke was gone.

All of those perfect dreams could have come true if she had just forgiven him! Damn pride! She could have had that little boy that she wanted. She could have done all of those things she hadn't told Luke she wished for. She wanted to share her son's first steps with Luke. She wanted Luke to be horrified when the first word out of Jake's mouth was not Mommy or Daddy, but coffee. She wanted to tell stories to her little boy while Luke watched silently from the doorway. She had wanted to be able to bring her son to preschool with Luke. She wanted all of these things, but she had just demolished any hope for them in one quick moment. Gone. Luke. Memories. Future. All of them were gone. And it was her fault this time.

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Luke had never felt so lost. So unsure. So miserable. Why had she told him to leave? Did she not love him? And then it struck him: she didn't. she didn't love him. She hated him so much that she had pushed him out of his son's life. God! Why did she hate him so much?

When he arrived at the inn, he walked up to the front door. His face was still showing the stunned feeling he had felt 10 minutes earlier at Lorelai's house. Now he just felt sad, depressed, like he had nothing to live for. He walked through the entrance and up to the front desk. He was leaving. He couldn't take anymore disappointment. He had to leave this town that was only a memory of the fact that he was the one that started everything. He had broken up with her in the first place. He had moved. He had not come back or shown any sign that he ever would. It was his fault.

"Leaving so soon?" Michel asked in a somewhat satisfied tone. He just wanted this untidy man out of the inn and away so Lorelai could stop avoiding her job.

Luke just shot Michel a glare and then turned around to go get his things. At that moment he almost knocked Sookie over. She had spotted him and needed to talk to him and so she had been standing there long enough to know that he was planning to leave early.

"Oh, god Sookie!" he said as he stumbled backwards.

"Luke what are you doing?" she asked.

"What? Oh, I'm leaving." He said as he went to pass her.

"What? Why?" she asked knowing Luke was a private man but sometimes, just like Lorelai, needed to talk to someone.

"There is no reason to stay, that's why. I helped Liz and TJ with the repairs and now I am done." He said as he walked towards the stairs.

"Luke! What about Lorelai?" she asked as she trailed after him.

"Lorelai does not want me here. End of story." He said as he walked up the stairs towards his room. Lucky number 7; that was his room number.

"What are you talking about? She still loves you Luke!" she yelled trying to keep up with him as he walked up the stairs. At that he turned around.

"No Sookie. I am not having this conversation with you. If you want to know how she really feels, then you go ask her! Not me! I am done!" he practically yelled this as he ran up the stairs. Sookie stopped for a moment and then ran after him again. By the time she reached him he was already opening the door to his room.

"Luke! I don't care whose friend I am right now, that doesn't make what I said any less true." She said chasing him through the door. Luke turned around and looked at her.

"Sookie! Stop! She said she didn't want me here. She said to leave. Forever! Now I am just abiding by her wishes. Now if you don't mind, I have to pack!" he yelled as he turned towards the bed which already had his things piled on it.

"Luke! Tell me, since when has Lorelai ever realized what she wanted before it is too late?" she asked with sincerity in her voice. Luke turned to look at Sookie. He had a stunned look on her face. "Since when does she realize that the only way to be happy is to let someone in?" she asked.

"Sookie what are you talking about?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"Luke for many years I have watched Lorelai struggle with her relationships and she has always turned to you. You have always been a main factor in her life. She told me how you built her a chuppah and then she realized that max wasn't the one. She told me how you were the one who taught her how to fish, even though it was all for the sake of a date she was having with another man." she said staring at his eyes. He looked stunned that she knew all of this.

"Luke, she said she doesn't want you around because she is afraid you will hurt her again. Like you did the first time a year ago, and like you did yesterday." She said. "Luke, she loves you, I can see it in her eyes every time she sees a picture of you two, and even when she looks at Jake. She sees you in him and that makes her think of you. She knows she will never be able to fully shut you out of Jake's or her lives, but god knows she will try if she thinks it will protect her from getting hurt again. Luke, don't leave. Don't give up on her. Stay and work this out. If not for you sake, then for your son's, you know, the little baby that is stuck in the middle of all of this?" she said. Luke immediately realized that Sookie was absolutely right. Lorelai did love him, but she was just too afraid that he would hurt her again; which was his fault, once again.

"Uh…Sookie, I…uh, have to go." He said as he rushed passed her and out the door; he had something he needed to get.

Luke was always sure about what he was going to do and this time was nothing different. But he was the only one. Sookie didn't know what Luke was in such a rush to do but she had some clue. The question you should be asking yourself is: is he coming or going?

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"Mom! where are you?" Rory yelled as she opened the front door. "Mom? I forgot my book bag here and I need it for my next class." She yelled again. When she got no response she yelled again, "MOM!" she frantically ran through the house looking for her mother. "MOM!"

She ran to her mother's bedroom door and pushed it open. Her mother was standing over the crib watching Jake play. When she heard the door open she turned around to see Rory standing there looking shocked. She quickly wiped away the tears that had been lingering on her face.

"Mom, what happened?" Rory said taking a step towards her mother.

"Shhhhhh! I don't want to get Jake upset again." Was Lorelai response.

"Again? How about we go downstairs and you tell me what happened." Rory said sympathetically. She had no idea what had happened but she knew it had to be something big for her mother to cry like this. The last time she cried like this was when Luke broke up with her. Luke! It finally hit her. He must have been a part of this. It must have something to do with him.

Lorelai nodded, took one last look at her little Luke that was contently playing with a toy in his crib. She then turned around and followed Rory out of the room.

"Mom, what happened?" Rory asked as Lorelai sat down on the couch. Rory decided to remain standing.

"It's my fault this time!" Lorelai said as tears started to pour out of her eyes. "I pushed him away this time!" Lorelai said through the sobs.

"Who? Mom, who did you push away? Was it Luke?" she asked sitting down next to her mother. Lorelai's only response was to nod her head.

"How did you push him away?" Rory asked.

"I…I uh…I told him to leave. I told him to leave and not come back." She said wiping her tears.

"Oh, mom he will come back." Rory said as she pulled her mother in for a hug.

"No he won't Rory! I told him that it was his fault that all of this happened. I told him that me and Jake don't need him! I lied Rory! I need him more than any other person on earth and I told him to leave! God! I am such a screw up!" she yelled at herself.

"Mom you are not a screw up! Just look at me! Look at your beautiful inn that you own! Look at Jake!" she said trying to cheer her mother up.

"The town, Luke." she said. Rory looked at her mother like she was crazy.

"What?" Rory asked.

"The whole town helped with you, and Luke…Luke helped with the inn. And so did Sookie!" she said.

"Well that was just for the first two. What about Jake, who helped you there?" Rory asked. Lorelai thought about it but couldn't find an answer for that question.

"See mom. You are not a screw up. And plus, Luke would never leave you! He is just not one to give up unless he feels that he has a better shot at being happy somewhere else!" Rory said. She still did not realize how bad the fight had been. She still did not realize that Luke did see leaving as the better option. She didn't realize how complicated her mother's life was.

"But he does Rory. He does have a better shot at happiness if he leaves! I have caused him as much pain and hurt as he did me a year ago!" she said as she started to sob again.

Rory pulled her mother in for another hug, only this one lasted about 30 minutes. Just as Lorelai was starting to calm down, there was whining heard from the bedroom.

"Uh, hun, I should probably go get him. Just hungry I bet." She said pulling away from Rory's embrace and standing up. "You should probably go too. You have that paper you said you have to finish tonight." She said trying to get Rory to leave. She just need some time. If Rory stayed then she would be watching Lorelai's every move. And right now all Lorelai needed was some peace and privacy.

"Oh, I can stay. I can get the paper done tomorrow. I just wanted it done by tonight." Rory said. She knew she should stay for her mother.

"No, you go. I have everything I need here. And plus you can spend your free time with that man of yours." She said giggling at the last part.

"You sure?" Rory asked.

"Yep! Sure as sure can be!" Lorelai said. JUST GO! Lorelai cried inside.

"Ok. But call me if you need anything. Ok?" Rory said as she got up from the couch and grabbed her bag and coat near the door.

"Ok." Lorelai said. "I really have to get him, so…bye." Lorelai said as she made her way to the stairs. Jake could still be heard crying.

"Bye." Rory shouted so her mother could hear her as she walked out the front door.

Lorelai then made her way up the stairs to her son. And life goes on; she thought to herself and then sighed.

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hey doodle people! i have always wanted to call you guys that! i am so sorry to all you people who expected luke and lorelai to get back together. i know i have ended this chapter in a way that disappoints you. Don't worry! Just one more chapter. i would also like to bring up the topic of a sequel. if you would like one or would like me to continue at the end of chapter 11, please just tell me. if i get enough people wanting a sequel or a continuence(sp) then i will write one.

Now that that is done with! Review! please! remember the little paragraph at the top about the review being payment? well it is time to cough up the reviews! ha! ha! can't you just see a guy from the mofia chasing someone yelling at them to give them a review or else? that would be so funny! ok, again, back to reviewing! please, i only want one from each of you! as a matter of fact that is all it will let you give me! how convenient! well for my sake, and the sake of my writing (which will suffer if you do not review) please review! wow that word is about to become a little redundant! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!


	11. AN: please read!

**A/N:**

I am so sorry to all of you who thought this was the next chapter. I am so sorry to disappoint you, but i didn't want to keep you waiting all night. i have been really busy lately and i haven't had time to finish and perfect my pretty little final chapter. I most likely will have it up by tomorrow but until then i am accepting hate responces from you. i do have one request and that is that you don't send violent people after me. i would really appreciate the resraint.

**Thanks again guys! You are such a great group of** **patient people and i will get it up as soon as i can! My loyalty is only to you and the little gnomes under my bed! HUZZA! I have always wanted to say that but have never gotten a chance. I hope not to get too many hate responses but we will have to see... **


	12. Staying

**This is the last chapter! That makes me sad! Well I almost wasn't able to get this chapter posted because I have been sick all day and I have homework i have to make upand blah blah blah. so, last chapter. I would like to thank all of my reviewers for reviewing. you guys are the best! i would marry you all if it wasn't illegal! I guess i will just have to settle for just enjoying your reviews. i would also like to thank my sister who makes sure that this story is actually readable. without her, you would all look like monkeys scratching your heads in confusion. THANKS AGAIN! **

Disclaimer: i don't own anything. i wish i did but the sad truth is that i don't.

**Chapter 11: Staying**

Luke walked out of the store carrying a bag. The bag held two items that Luke hoped would help convince Lorelai that he wanted to be there for both their son and her. He jumped into his truck and put the key in the ignition.

His truck was still the same one he had had for many years. It was still the same green old pickup. The only difference was the person who was driving it. He was not the same man who he had been when he first got the truck. He was older of course. He had more life experiences too. But really made him different was the way he was around everyone. He was quieter now. Before he used to at least argue his thoughts and stick up for himself, but now all he did was just let everyone's comments, speeches, talks, and words in general just fly over his head. He didn't care anymore. All he had to live for now was the dream of being back with Lorelai, and that dream might not come true.

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Luke pulled into Lorelai's driveway. He felt as if he was about to vomit. That was just how nervous he was. He got out with some hesitation. He thought about how maybe this wasn't the right thing to be doing. Maybe Lorelai really didn't want him to come back. But he at least had to try.

Lorelai got off the couch to go answer the door when she heard a knock. She didn't expect to see Luke standing there, but there he was. And he was holding a bag of some sort.

"Luke what are you doing here?" she asked. Why did he come back after I yelled at him like I did? She thought.

"I can't do it Lorelai. I can't leave. I can't leave our son, and I can't leave you." He said still standing on the porch.

"Luke," Lorelai started. She didn't know what she was going to say. Did he mean that he could just leave because I yelled at him, or because he wants to be with me?

"I heard what you said. I heard it all and I was about to leave town. But then I realized that this might not be about you hating me. I have known you for almost ten years. I know that I broke your heart and your trust when I decided to back out of our relationship. I also know that you might just be trying to prevent me from doing that to you again." He said sounding sad. Lorelai just hung her head not wanting Luke to see the smile that was starting to show on her face. He knew her so well.

"And so, to prove to you that I am not just here to be around for my son, I got you these." He said holding up the bag for her. She opened it and looked in. she looked into Luke's eyes and smiled.

"Wow! Why?" she said still smiling.

"Because I want at least one of your dreams to come true. Now, for the second part of that: he can't wear them." Luke said flashing a smile.

"Oh, you wish!" Lorelai teased. Their eyes met again and they could feel all of the unhappiness of the past year melt away like ice on a hot July day. Lorelai leaned forwards a little while Luke did the same.

Their lips met in a sweet kiss which soon evolved into a more passionate one. Neither wanted to break apart. It was like time had just stopped but yet they wanted to spend eternity this way. Luke did not try and go beyond just kissing. He was just content with what he had at the moment.

When they did break apart, Luke just stared at Lorelai while she ran her finger over her lips wanting to feel him kiss her again.

"God it has been too long!" she whispered so that even Luke could barely hear her. All Luke could do was lean in and go for another kiss. Again time stopped and nothing but themselves seemed important until…

"Luke," Lorelai started as she pulled away. She played with the buttons of his flannel. "Could we, just, you know" she gestured towards the inside of the house.

"Oh, yah." Luke responded entering the house. He again felt like this was all new to him. He felt like he was repeating the past, but with a better outcome for the future.

"Luke, why don't you come and meet you son?" Lorelai asked as they made their way to the bassinet together leaving the bag at the door.

The bag itself had meant nothing to Lorelai, it was what was inside what made her realize how much Luke loved her. Never in her wildest dreams would she have dreamed of him going into a store, let alone buy those! He had shown her that he wanted to be a part of her dreams for their son, but also for her. He wanted to be there to laugh at her, to tease her, to pick the little, most meaningless fights. He wanted to show her that she now had two flannel and backwards baseball cap men. Flannel and a baseball cap that were just Jake's size. That was what was in the bag.

Just another thing to tease Luke about, Lorelai thought.

Luke had never been so happy in his life. When he looked back on all of this, he saw that he never planned to come back. He also never planned to leave again. The one thing he did plan on was something without movement, without uncertainty of what was next. He would not be coming or going anymore he decided. He would be staying.

**_The End_**

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I know! it is extremely short for three days to write it. i am sorry for all of you who wanted luke to hold Jake. it just didn't fit in. If you don't remember what the dream thing is referring to, itwas it was in chapter 9 when lorelai and luke were fighting.

If you want i will either just continue this or write a sequel. I have decided to take a break from writing for the next few weeks because of my finals and christmas. i just won't be able to find enough time to write. so, i am sorry for that sad news. but, i will write more if you guys want me to. just mention it in your review.

oh, speaking of which, REVIEW! i love them and they will be my last for a few weeks so make me happy and give me those happy little reviews that you are so longing to give! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!


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